


Back for You

by zayntopsall



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Romantic Comedy, Sexual Content, Top!Liam, artist!zayn, bottom!Zayn, surfer!liam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-08
Updated: 2013-07-16
Packaged: 2017-12-04 16:39:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/712834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zayntopsall/pseuds/zayntopsall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn and Liam had to end up their relationship to be on their separate ways and reach for their own dreams. Zayn stayed to master arts while Liam left the island of Lilac to become a professional surfer.</p><p>Five years have passed, and Zayn became a commission artist in the island - dedicating his life with arts, and his mini-bar business with his local friends, Harry and Niall and believing that he already forgot how it feels to be with someone. </p><p>That was until Liam comes back and was determined to bring back everything he left behind and make Zayn fall in love with him all over again. Will Liam’s efforts ignite the old flame or has Zayn completely moved on and there’s no way sparks would fly again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rhein9](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Rhein9).



> Important Note: Lilac is a fictional island. I took it from its meaning - first love. (cheesy shit)

“ZAYN! ZAYN! ZAYN! ZAAAAAAAAAAYN!” A continuous calling and loud banging in front of the door woke up Zayn with his eyebrows creased and his fists balled, ready to smack the shit out of his friend, Niall. Seeing it was just 8 in the bloody morning, he decided he’ll add up a good kick in his Irish balls so he’ll know how pissed he was.

Zayn had just turned the knob when a painful hit on his forehead knocked him on the floor.

“Fucking hell, Niall!” He said angrily, scratching the part of his forehead where there was an obvious bump. He squinted and saw the bleached-blonde hair lad standing in front of him, lips pursed and trying hard not to laugh at his position. “I’m going to kill you.” He muttered and he really was determined to.

“Get your ass up! I need to show you something!” Niall pulled him up by the wrist and before he could even land one hard smack on any part of the lad’s body (preferably his balls), he was dragged all across the room all the way to the glass door, leading to his terrace.

Zayn breathed out a curse as the cold front coming from the sea immediately sank onto their skins, making both lads hug themselves. Zayn always wondered why he could never get used to this even if he was living all his life in front of a big mass of water and your room almost twenty feet high from the ground – or sand.

“You woke me up to watch the sunrise even if it’s already fucking high in the sky? Are you really trying to piss me off, Horan?” Zayn asked, glaring at Niall who have his eyes glued somewhere down on where they were standing. He followed where Niall’s eyes were and leaned into the bars, finally seeing a figure on the water – someone was swimming, or rather, surfing.

“Does Harry know you’re stalking a surfer at my terrace?”

Niall looked away and turned to him, eyes confused. “The fuck are you talking about?”

“That guy,” Zayn pointed, “You’re here to stalk him so Harry wouldn’t see you doing it? Really?” He let out a chuckle.

Niall cocked his head and then suddenly laughed so hard that some people below their house raised their heads and looked at them with a bit of annoyance. “Me? Cheating Harry and stalking some surfer? God knows Harry and I are married even before we met.”

“Don’t pull some Savage Garden shit at me. Tell me why the hell you waked me up this early! I want to go back to sleep, for fuck’s sake it’s Friday.”

Niall landed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it as he turned him around to face the waters again. “Look carefully, Zayn. Don’t you recognize him?”

Recognize who exactly? His legs were already pressed on the bars, slouching to see clearer the person who was riding on the waves as if he wasn’t in the water at all or that he controls it. Somehow, it reminded him of a particular person, but Zayn brushed the idea quickly. He can’t be here, he thought.

But then he saw people all gathered up by the shore, cameras on their faces, kids jumping up and down, cheering and a few females screaming for attention. “Is that guy kind of a celebrity or something?”

Niall, doing the best of his job, laughed hard again. “He’s not a kind of celebrity or something, look closer!”

“Okay, okay! Don’t push me, I could’ve fallen from here, you twat. Are you trying to kill me?”

“I wish I could.”

“What did you say?”

“I SAID THE GUY SURFING DOWN THERE IS YOUR FUCKING EX-BOYFRIEND! There, I said it! I lost the bet to Harry!” Niall spat.

“W-what?” Zayn asked.

“I said, I lost –“

“Not that one. The first one you just said? Who – who is that guy again?” Zayn might’ve been hearing the wrong things. And he liked to think Niall’s bet with Harry was to piss him off – it was their usual bonding moment Zayn could never understand. Bet on things and the one who wins get to do an awful amount of things during sex – and maybe – this is just part of it.

Niall sighed. “I said, that guy – the one who’s surfing, the one who’s being surrounded by screaming girls and photographers, is your ex-boyfriend. Liam. Liam James Payne. LIAM.” He said Liam rather hardly and suddenly, Zayn’s head went buzzing, the air around him seemed to have sucked out of nowhere and there was a struggle for him if he should strangle Niall or throw himself out in the open sea.

None of the choices seem to fit what he was feeling.

He looked down, ignoring the constant whimpers of Niall losing on Harry. It was really him. Fuck.

Now that Niall had mentioned it, he was damn right about recognizing those movements before – those skills that had him falling head over heels towards a guy he was just creepily watching on the same position he was in right now. He could make out Liam’s face now, the glow on his face whenever he was in the water, the way he lifted his body off the board as he carefully stands up, bends a little and glides over the waves with a smug on his face.

There was no doubt about it.

It was Liam.

—-

When Zayn snapped out of it and went back to his room, he kicked Niall in his balls when he saw him all slouched over one of his paintings.

“JESUS! What was that for? God – it, shit – it hurts.” Niall bit his lips inside, his two hands doing its best to ease the pain out of his dick. Zayn was still too shocked to laugh at the sight of Niall in pain, his mind was still reeling of Liam – of Liam, - his ex-boyfriend, the guy he haven’t seen for 5 fucking years and he’s just outside his house and surfing like it was the most normal thing in the world to do.

“Ohoho, someone’s getting his memories back.” Niall said, limping on his way on a beanbag situated in the middle of the whole room. Zayn swivelled the stool on the bar and glared back at Niall, wondering why he still have the courage to tease him after what he had done. He’s in the mood to repeat it. “What? Aren’t you thinking about it? Liam going back after years of no existence – and he’s all ready to make you fall in love with him again!”

Zayn threw Niall a disgusted look, but the blonde seemed to enjoy his reactions rather than be scared or worried about it. “Did Harry asked you to try getting high again? ‘Cause I think you’re still up there, mate.”

“You’re saying you’re not thinking about it?”

“It’s been five years, Niall. Five years.”

“With no boyfriend slash girlfriend at all.”

“Because I’m busy!” Zayn argued and he wondered why he is still having this conversation.

“That’s the lamest reason I’ve ever heard for not being in a relationship. Just admit it, Zayn - you’re still in love with Liam.”

“Don’t put me in your situation with Harry – your relationship and true love shit with him doesn’t apply for everyone.”

“Aww, Zayn. You’re sounding like a very, bitter ex-girlfriend. I thought you two broke up smoothly?”

And seriously, Zayn doesn’t have to be reminded of all the things right now. He has three paintings to finish, and having the memory of your ex-boyfriend floating in your head would be a disaster for his job.

“We did, okay? And that was it. There’s nothing for us to do about it anymore. It’s over.”

“But he’s back.”

Zayn wiped is hand on his face. “Niall, just because your ex is back doesn’t mean you need to bring back everything. He’s just here for the waters. And this is his home, okay? He has the right to come back whenever the fuck he wants.” Zayn said, although he was dying to know why so sudden and without notice. He could’ve prepared some decent speech if ever they bumped on this small island.

“And what if, let’s just say the reason for Liam coming back isn’t just the waves – it’s because of you? He wanted to bring back the old flame, the known, ‘Ziam’ pair. What would you do?”

Zayn ignored the weird feeling on his chest. “He’s not going to do it, okay? Stop pushing it. We had a decent break-up, we were young at that time and now we have our own successful, separate lives – there’s nothing to go back for.” Zayn stood up, indicating it was the end of the conversation. Thirty minutes passed but Zayn felt like he was exhausted enough to call it a day. “Aren’t you supposed to help Harry downstairs? What are you still doing here?”

Niall, looking perfectly healed from his injury, finally stood up.”This was our bet, remember? Harry was the one who recognized Liam when he came running down the beach and the idea of letting you recognize him with your own eyes – in which you failed.”

“I’m sorry but I’m not good at detecting exes.”

“You say it like it’s some kind of a disease.”

“What?”

“Exes.” Niall tried his best to imitate the way Zayn said it.

“Shut up and go back to work.” Zayn kicked the beanbag out of his way and dragged Niall by his collar, careful not to bump the easels blocking his way to the front door. “I’ll go down later.”

Zayn was just about to shut the door when Niall’s head popped back in.

“Remember Zayn: This is the island of Lilac, known for bringing back our first loves. You have witnessed a successful one – I can’t wait to see yours.” He sniggered and left before Zayn could reach for his neck and strangle him.

“It’s just a myth. A fucking coincidence – and there’s no way it’ll happen to me.”

—-

“Fuck,” Zayn spat, throwing his brush on his side as he looks into the strokes on his canvas, unappealing and screaming to be thrown away. He felt horrible and he knew he was so distracted he’s not going to finish anything at all with this state of mind. Why was he thinking so much of Liam anyways? It’s been years and he was supposed to take it coolly. But because Niall asked him these silly questions about getting back together, he couldn’t take his mind off of it.

What if Liam did want to come back because of him? What would he say? Would he reject him, allow him and start anew or just jump to where they left off? Zayn mentally kicked himself.

Where they left off? The last time they left off was some passionate sex before the break-up and that’s not a good place to go back to.

Zayn threw himself on his bed, face buried on his pillows as he kept his memories from Liam away – but failing to do so.

A movie started playing on his head and he could see all of it – the way Liam had approached him when he saw him at school, all hunched over his sketchpad full of drawings of him and asking him if he was the same guy he always see on the terrace. And Zayn had to keep himself from blushing as he nodded.

Then they were going out. Niall and Harry would often join them at lunch and talk about almost everything, and their fingers intertwined under the table to avoid teasing and from the eyes of their teachers who weren’t big fans of having a relationship at school.

When the two of them are finally alone, they find themselves at the beach, hand in hand, pointing to the sky, watching the sunset, looking out for constellations and sleeping next to each other. Zayn could even remember the first time Liam asked him if they could do ‘it’ when they were watching the sunset at a cliff not everyone knows about – and Zayn was more than willing to give it.

When they were in high school, Zayn was discovering more of his passion for arts and Liam’s passion for surfing and slowly, they were getting known for their own craft. Zayn was the first time who saw it – he saw how Liam is so dedicated with his surfing that he distances himself sometimes so that he could concentrate, and Zayn would like to have some private time alone too so he could think of better works.

It wasn’t that the other one was a distraction – it was just that, they were starting to be someone – not just Liam’s boyfriend or Zayn’s boyfriend.

Then Liam was reaching greater heights. He got offers after offers of joining competitions around the world, and offered scholarships so he could study and train at the same time. But Liam kept rejecting it, promising he’d never leave Zayn for popularity and that surfing was just his hobby.

However, Zayn knew better than that. He wasn’t stupid and he wasn’t some overly-attached type of person who would keep the dreams of his loved one away so he could stay. So Zayn initiated the break-up. He said he didn’t want Liam to hold back because of him and added his own struggles too, so that Liam wouldn’t feel so much guilty about it.

And it all went out perfectly. Liam left the next month, promising to send letters to him so they would always keep in touch.

But Zayn doesn’t have plans to anymore. That time Liam turned his back, Zayn knew it was over and there’s no point in holding the strings and trying to make things work in a distance. It would just be hard for both of them to concentrate with what they want and what they’re doing.

So even though Liam never failed to end him letters every weekend, he did his best not to open them and act as if he was too busy with his life he had not time to sit and bring back the memories with him.

Niall asked him that time if he has a soul but Zayn keep up with it until Liam finally gave up and stop sending him letters. And Zayn tried his best not to feel so hurt about it.

—-

That night, Zayn was slumped over the couch, a bowl of popcorn on his groin, distracting himself over the constant ring of Liam on his head as he watches his newly bought DVD of Abraham Lincoln: The Vampire Hunter when he heard another loud banging on his door.

“Seriously, if this is about Liam again, I swear –“

“LIAM’S DOWNSTAIRS!” A tall guy with a large amount of curly hair blurted out the moment Zayn opened the door. Zayn’s jaw dropped together with the bowl that was on his hands, crashing on his foot.

“SHIT! Shit, shit!” He kicked the bowl outside, pulling the injured part up and quickly massaging it with his hands, skipping away from the door as he let the lad inside. “What is it with you two that I always get hurt? Damnit!”

“Sorry, mate. Was that a bit of a shock?”

Zayn was too busy easing the pain from his toes to answer.

“Well – the bar’s packed with the locals and a few friends Liam’s with.”

Zayn paused briefly. “He brought his friends here?”

“Looks like it. Niall and I already met them. Name’s Louis, Stan, Josh and Adam – they look quite decent but they’re too hyper for Liam.”

“What do you mean?” Zayn asked, trying not to look too curious and interested about it.

“You know, they have their arms around Liam, pulling him and dragging him wherever they go and Liam’s just kinda going with them. He doesn’t look uncomfortable though I just thought he’s still the same – still not good with socializing.”

“Oh,” Zayn said, sounding very indifferent.

“You know you don’t have to keep up with the ‘I don’t really give a shit’ facade in front of me, right? I could totally read your thoughts right now.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Hell yeah. You’re thinking about what part of Liam didn’t change. Or what part of him still remained the same. Is he still the Liam you know? God, Zayn. Try a bit harder.”

Zayn shook his head, smiling. “I am trying, Harry. I really am.” If that was the truth or a joke, he didn’t care less about it. “So, is he – you know –“

“Looking for you? Obviously. I bet he’s just too shy to ask. And Niall and I had a bet on who will bring it up first, you or him and it turns out…”

Zayn slapped his palm on his face again. “This never ending betting of yours is getting worse.”

“I won again. Two times in a row! Niall’s all mine tonight.” Harry said, grinning with so much glint on his green eyes.

“Isn’t he already?”

“Well, he is. But he always demand a lot of things when we’re having sex, and I want to take full control of it-“

“Okay, stop. I’m not interested at your sex life. I could hear you guys sometimes you know.”

Harry didn’t hold back a laugh. Sometimes, Zayn thought Niall and Harry was the same person and he’s just seeing it wrong. “Sorry. Niall likes the sound of the waves so we keep our windows open. I didn’t think you could hear it when you’re above us.”

“I have a fucking terrace.”

“Right. So – about Liam. You going down or what?”

“Why shouldn’t I?” Zayn said defensively. Really, why shouldn’t he?

“Because from what Niall told me, you were acting like a bitter ex-girlfriend.”

“I am definitely not acting like one.”

“Then I’ll be seeing you downstairs, lover boy. I bet Liam would be so delighted to see you.” Harry chipped in, winking at him before shutting the door.

Zayn gulped. He wasn’t ready for this. He still hasn’t prepared any of his decent speech yet. He ran to his bathroom and faced the mirror, he groaned at the sight. He looked like he was going through a break-up that didn’t even exist. His hair was lying flat on his forehead with no sign of life in it, his breathe smelled like froot loops, and his whole body was sending the scent of his linseed oil.

Why was he getting all worked up to this anyway? He doesn’t like the idea of dressing to impress his ex – but then again, if Liam sees him like he was going through a depressing state when he left, in which he was sure as hell, he’s not – then maybe he needed to look as attractive as possible, even though being an artist doesn’t really require that.

So he hopped on to his shower, fixed his hair on a quiff, took out a plaid shirt but brought it back as it reminded him of Liam back then and changed into a plain white shirt paired with black jeans and slipping onto some comfortable sneaks so he wouldn’t look like he lives from the other island to dres like that.

He stared at himself on the mirror hanging on his wall. He still wasn’t ready for this.

Zayn took a deep breath and pulled out his best smile.

“Hey – I haven’t seen you in a while…” No. Way too scripted.

“Liam? Is that you? Shit – I didn’t recognize you at all!” He recognized him when he was in the waters for fuck’s sake.

“Oh, so you’re back? Niall told me you’re here just this morning - How’s it going? I saw you on TV once…” He felt like he was too curious about his life and his tone made him feel like he’s been waiting for him and creepily stalking him. “Fuck, none of this is going to work anyway.” Zayn shuffled away from the mirror, switching off the lights and picking up the bowl of popcorn outside and placing it at the back of his door – he’ll put it back later.

There are exactly ten steps down leading to the floor where Harry and Niall lives, and another ten steps until he reaches the bar downstairs. A total of twenty steps – and he could see Liam again. This was harder than he thought. Zayn could only hope for a good start-up conversation as he goes down.

He could already hear the music coming out from the bar and not even a single word visited his mind. He could imagine Niall and Harry’s faces when he gets inside the bar – another bet of him running away or acting cool was surely part of their list.

There’s nothing to run away from, Zayn. You have no more feelings for Liam. You’ve moved on and you’re happy with your life now and you should be happy with his, as well. Be cool – be friends and prove to those blokes there’s nothing to go back for.

He peeked into the window and scanned his eyes around the place – he saw some unfamiliar faces and assumed those were the guys Harry mentioned. But where’s Liam?

“Zayn?”

Zayn turned around without thinking who called him, regretting it afterwards when he saw who it was.

Shit. His head was pounding together with his chest. Zayn’s mouth felt dry and no matter how much he tries to say a single word, nothing would come out of it. Liam settled with a smile – the kind of smile that’s so genuine and innocent Zayn gets butterflies on his stomach everytime he sees it. And even though the feeling should’ve left him years ago – it was still there.

Zayn never wanted to be swallowed by the sand on his feet this much because he was standing right in front of Liam – his ex-boyfriend, looking ten times hotter and more attractive than before and smiling at him as if he already knows what was running through his mind.

He was never really ready for this.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND IT’S ALIVE! Good heavens, don’t look at me. I’m bad at updating stories, I know. :) I hope you guys like this! X It's 3:30 AM and I am high as fuck (I mean, come on, everyone of us is high at these times) so any mistake, ANY OBVIOUS MISTAKE, is mine. 
> 
> If you're kind enough to point my mistakes, please do, so that I may edit it and make this fic not so close on being such an eyesore. Thank you very much. Enjoy reading. xx

Zayn gulped, his fingernails raking on the wooden wall behind him, hoping it would be enough to dug another hole or open up a portal so he could just lean back and disappear. This could all be some kind of dream. The whole morning occurrence didn’t happen. Niall didn’t drag him towards his terrace, he didn’t point out a certain surfer, Harry didn’t knock on his door and announce Liam was downstairs and this person in front of him is just a hallucination – none of this was real.

 He probably slept with the bottle of linseed oil open and it sucked the sanity out of his brain. That’s the reason why he’s dreaming Liam came back. Zayn just needed to count to three, and he’ll be back on his bed, the sound of the waves and the glint of the sun hitting his eyes would wake him up. He just had to close his eyes…

“Zayn?” The voice stopped his eyelids from falling, much to his dismay and once again, their eyes met. “Are you alright? You’re not sick, are you?”

“Sick? N-no! I was just – I was – you know _, surprised_.” Zayn sputtered every word, as if there was sand on his tongue. Who was he kidding? This was all real. He’s in front of Liam – his ex-boyfriend, his used to be lover. And there was no way he could escape from this one. He ran his hand on the back of his neck, turning away from Liam’s gaze. “So, uhm - how are you?”

Zayn watched Liam’s foot as it gently kicked the sand. It made his stomach squirm, knowing that it was one of Liam’s habits when he’s thinking of what to say.

“I’m fine. I just arrived this morning…” Liam glanced from the window behind Zayn. “You don’t want to come in?”

“Ah, I was – I was thinking of you know, just passing by – I need to finish a painting tonight.” Zayn said, looking at Liam to make it more believable. He knew it’d be a good reason not to linger for long and not to make things far worse from this. The atmosphere was so awkward he could cut through it.

“Oh, right. Of course.” Liam nodded, taking a step back. “I don’t want to keep you from what you’re doing…” Zayn’s heart almost dropped from Liam’s expression. He was biting his lips, his head so low his chin was almost brushing on his chest and his fingers fidgeting the end of his plaid shirt, and his eyes –  _goddamit, he was still doing it_  – those puppy-eyes that were enough to stop any war.

Zayn took a deep breathe. “But I think, a couple of drinks wouldn’t hurt, right?” He regretted it the moment it slipped from his mouth as Liam’s lips curved into a smirk –  _a fucking smirk._ Zayn couldn’t believe his eyes. Just a second ago, he looked like a lost puppy and now he looked like a wolf ready to plunge into his meal (wait, he’s the meal?) Since when did Liam learned how to look so cunning?  _Wait_ – no. Zayn wanted to take his words back. Liam knew he’d fall for it, he always did.

“Stay here, I’ll go get us some drinks.” Liam said, his smile growing even wider. And before Zayn could come up for a reason not to stay, Liam had already turned to his right and all the way towards the front door, the sound of cheers coming from the inside.

Zayn shut his eyes as he sat on the last step of the stairs, kicking the sand in exasperation. “FUCK. FUCK. FUCK!” He brought his hands on his face, shaking his head. “This is not happening. This not happening. Why now? Why so unexpected?! Why of all the people I’d bump into, it should be Liam? Whyyyyyy?” He looked up, millions of stars scattered around the vast sky and he knew those twinkling ones were laughing at him, watching him fall into a series of unfortunate events. “Fuck you.”

“Uhm – am I the one you’re referring to?” Zayn flinched, seeing Liam with a bottle of wine on his right hand, and two glasses on the other one –  _he wasn’t thinking of wine, actually._  Realizing Liam heard him cursed the whole galaxy, he stood up.

 “I – it wasn’t you! It was the stars.”

“The stars?” Liam asked, raising an eyebrow. “You’re cursing the stars?”

“I mean, they’re so beautiful, right? Like, how do they even exist? I mean, they’re worth cursing for being so fucking beautiful.” Zayn didn’t know if he was making any sense. None of this makes sense either, so why not continue on and pretend he’s losing his sanity, maybe Liam would leave.

Liam looked at him and slowly tilted his head; his nose pointing upwards was the only thing Zayn could see. “Uh, yeah. They really are beautiful.” Zayn stared in awe from what he did. He was expecting a laugh, something like ‘What the hell is wrong with you?’ but instead, Liam went on with him and he wasn’t able to control the loud beating of his heart. “They really are worth cursing.”

Zayn couldn’t help but to smile. “Try it.”

Liam slowly cocked his head down, beaming at him before he raised his head again, muttering a ‘Fuck You’, in the open air.

—-

They end up sitting by the shore, their legs outstretched as the waters splashed on their feet, their voices clear from the gentle sounds of the waves, the songs of the crickets, and the rustling of the trees. Zayn didn’t know where to start, but Liam seemed to have laid out everything in front of him. He started asking, and Zayn did the answering.

The awkward atmosphere slowly disappeared, together with the wine both of them enjoyed drinking one shot after another that none of them noticed they were already so close, shoulders and knees brushing and a simple turn of their heads could close the gap between their lips so easily.

“I didn’t know you took up a Master’s degree.” Liam muttered under his breath, taking a sip from his glass. “But I was actually thinking you’d do it, ‘cause you’re really good in arts, I mean - It’s obviously a waste not to.”

“Thanks…I guess.” Zayn said, biting down the huge smile that was forming on his lips. He didn’t want to look so happy about it, although inside him, he really was. Liam was good at complimenting. He always says the right words. His cheeks burned, and Zayn was thankful that there’s no was Liam could see him blushing tonight.

 Zayn then mentally kicked himself, almost forgetting that this whole thing is just a simple conversation and some kind of romantic reunion. He noticed how close they were now, and Liam didn’t look bothered about it, but now that he knew, Zayn’s heart beat furiously, almost too loud that Liam might’ve heard it.

His body was buzzing, he was feeling so light and breezy if it was because of the drink or because their knees were touching, Zayn had no idea. “How ‘bout you? How’s the whole surfing thing going on?”

“It’s fun and exciting. I got to meet a lot of other surfers and go on trips around the world, going to those places who boast how good their waves are.” Liam said, gradually drinking his wine. “I brought Louis, Stan, Josh and Adam here, I told them nothing beats Lilac’s waves.”

“And what did they say?”

“Of course they loved it! Josh even said he might buy a house here someday.” Liam chuckled, throwing his head back a little, his hair brushing on his ear.

Zayn’s whole body shivered, his breathing turned into gasps. When Liam brought the glass towards his mouth again, Zayn couldn’t help but to stare at it. It was as if Liam’s mouth was in slow motion, his upper lip moving as the liquid passed through it, and as he brought the glass down, an evident shine on his lips stayed.

And now, Zayn was gazing at Liam. His mind reeling from the past images he had of Liam inside his head. He didn’t know what part of Liam changed, what part of it stayed. His laugh was still the same, the way his eyes still crinkled when he smiled, his voice always so enthusiastic when telling stories.

“Zayn?”

His eyes shot back at Liam’s. “I – I’m sorry, it must be the drink – what is it again?”

“Are you tired? Do you want to go, now?” Liam sloshed his drink in one gulp, his eyes barely blinking as he stared back at Zayn. “You still have work to finish, right?”

“Uh, yeah – right.” Zayn said, his eyes giving up as he averted. The intensity of Liam’s eyes was making it hard for him to breathe. “I – I should go now.” He quickly stood up, but his knees wobbled and Zayn knew he was falling –

“Hey, take it easy,” He fell on Liam’s arms and felt a hand on his waist, holding him tightly. Zayn was barely even breathing now, mouth hung open and eyes stuck on Liam’s brown eyes, reflecting the light coming from the moon. “Here, let me help-”

Liam’s words were cut off as Zayn lifted his head and surged his lips towards Liam’s. His arm around his neck as he pulled him closer, tasting the wine as he slipped his tongue between Liam’s lips.  _God, it was still the same,_  Zayn thought. He moved his lips, biting Liam’s bottom lip before he finally pulled back, but then a hard push on his back made their lips meet again.

This time, Liam took control of it. He lowered Zayn’s body as he started to move his lips, their kiss quickly turning from gentle to a hard one. Liam’s other hand grabbed a fistful of his hair tilting his head slightly and deepening their kiss. Zayn’s whole body squirm from the way Liam’s tongue easily slid on his mouth, his whole vision turning into a blur as the built up of heat on his body raised quickly.

When Liam sucked his upper lip, Zayn gasped for air, his fingernails scratching Liam’s scalp. “D’you want to come to my room or-“

This time, Liam cut him off with his kiss. “Absolutely.”

—-

The door closed behind him with a loud bang. Liam pressed him against the door, his hand around his waist, firmly pushing Zayn on his body. Zayn threw his head back as Liam pressed wet kisses on his neck, nibbling his skin and sliding his tongue on the red spots. Every bite and kiss sent a tingling sensation down his spine, the heat inside his chest was about to burst and Zayn couldn’t remember how long before he felt something like this again.

He didn’t want to think of anything now. He just wanted Liam. And he was a hundred percent sure, Liam wanted him as well.

Zayn’s feet was lifted off the floor when Liam raised his body with ease, enabling Zayn to wrap his legs and lock his ankles on Liam’s hard waist. Zayn’s body kept on burning, so he hastily took off his shirt, throwing it on his side as Liam started walking backwards, his mouth sucking the skin on his collarbone while Zayn fumbled on the button of Liam’s shirt.

They exchanged soft chuckles as Liam crashed on his easels, toppling the bottles of can and a loud shatter from somewhere but still, none of them bothered to ask if they should do something about it. Finally, when the back of Liam’s knee hit the mattress, Zayn’s world turned upside down as Liam threw him to bed, his body between Liam’s legs, and his chest heaving up and down in each second that passed.

The burn intensify as he watched Liam’s eyes raked over his body, eyes switching one tattoo to another as if he was examining each, finding its meaning.

“Come on, Liam. Now’s not the time to look at my tattoos.” Zayn said, almost breathlessly, tugging on Liam’s shirt that he successfully popped all the buttons, exposing his defined abs, and smooth line on his love handle from the light coming from his window. “God, I didn’t know surfing could do this…” His fingers touched the line on his waist, earning a soft groan escaping from Liam’s lips.

“You have to tell me each of their meanings,” Liam leaned down, biting his chin. “Understood?”

“Yes. Yes. Yes.” Zayn said hastily, bucking his hips up to get the friction his throbbing dick wanted. Now wasn’t the time to make promises or whatsoever, he thought. “Liam,  _please.”_ Zayn whimpered, his voice almost sounding like he just got out of water after an hour of diving without oxygen.

Within seconds, both of them were completely naked, and another shudder ran down his body as Liam’s eyes slowly gazed from his eyes, down to his torso until it dropped to his cock. Zayn cocked an eyebrow when he caught Liam’s eyes on his and deliberately looking on his crotch as well.

The weird thing was that Zayn was getting bits of flashbacks. He couldn’t stop his mind from playing those times they were both insecure with their bodies that they ended up not doing anything at all. But seeing the way they are now, they were far from that now.

Just then, Liam snapped a finger in front of him. “Hey, don’t doze off on me now.” Liam lowered his hips, slightly bumping the head of their cocks. Zayn’s eyes fluttered from the contact, his back arching from the heat as Liam slowly rolled his hips, his lips between his teeth, watching Zayn’s face contorts in pleasure.

“Liam, fuck. Don’t – no teasing today,  _please_.” Even though he was drunk, Zayn took a mental note that this is the second time he’s been begging Liam. One more and he swore he’d throw a bucket of paint on him if he doesn’t get moving.

“Alright _, babe.”_ Liam whispered, right on his ear and Zayn’s mind just stopped thinking. He felt like all the screws had stopped moving. There was a sudden squeeze on his chest, a tight grip something that made his breathe hitched. Zayn knew that feeling and he was scared of feeling it again. The thoughts that were about to stir on his head vanished when he saw Liam’s arm stretched and reached for something on his drawer.

“W-what are you doing?”

“Lube. I’m just guessing it’s here.” There were a couple of things that rustled and toppled as Liam moved his hand. Zayn couldn’t even say, ‘How the hell did you know?’ knowing it would add another weird feeling on his body. “See? I’m right.” He smiled sheepishly, holding the bottle between his index and thumb and a condom between his pinky and ring finger.

He dropped the condom right beside his knee. Liam poured the content on his fingers, rubbing it before his other hand tapped Zayn’s thigh, enough for Zayn to spread his legs as wide as he could, not really thinking about how obscene he looked. His one hand reached back, gripping on the edge of the headboard. “Two. Put in two.”

“Already?”

“Fucking  _already_.” Zayn said, impatience on his tone that made Liam smirk. “That smirk of yours is going to—“ His words turned into a loud gasp as Liam prods two fingers on his entrance. Liam pushed further, and the gasp turned into a mixture of hiss and moan.

“Yeah, what’s it about my smirk?” Liam asked, thrusting his fingers knuckles deep.

“Fucking cocky.” Zayn grunted, he used his arm to push his ass down as Liam pushed in, his eyes unable to hold Liam’s gaze on him. “Since when did –  _shit –_ since when did you become like that…”

“I don’t know. You tell me.” Liam teased. He started to move his fingers, grinning as Zayn takes sharp intakes of breathe, unable to find the words to answer whatever he was trying to point out. Liam pulled his fingers out, grabbing the wrapper and slipping it on, his eyes glued on Zayn’s body as he slicked himself.

Zayn watched closely as Liam moved his body and lifted his leg over his shoulder, Zayn adjusting and lifting himself up a bit. He bit his lips when he saw Liam’s head bob down, obviously watching his dick push inside his entrance – Zayn’s lungs just stopped functioning.

Everything turned so slow again – he could see the smallest of details on what was happening – this thing never happened before when he was drunk, or was it just that he was paying so much attention to everything now? He saw the glimmer of sweat on Liam’s forehead, down to his neck, to his chest, and the drops falling on his chest from his chin. He could feel his heavy breathing, the faint smell of the wine and his familiar body wash.

Liam began to move, and Zayn’s fingers almost loosened from the headboard, but he gripped tightly, supporting himself on each of Liam’s thrusts and it didn’t take them long enough to find their rhythm as their bodies moved together, chest to chest, their foreheads bumping, Liam whispering words Zayn couldn’t really register on his mind right now, and that sweet,  _sweet_  jab on his prostate each time Liam snapped his hips.

Zayn couldn’t hold on any longer, he dropped his hand and laced his arm on Liam’s back, digging his fingernails as he felt closer and closer to his orgasm. “Fuck, Li. There –  _ah –_  faster-faster…”

Liam lost the grip on his thighs and let it slide down to his waist, Zayn closed his legs and pushed himself down. And then Liam was pressing sloppy kisses on his lips, on his neck, leaving bite marks on his shoulders, and Zayn could only hear his grunts and the constant call on his name. It was too much of Zayn all at once, he felt like his whole body was being squeezed to pulp. And it brought him over the edge.

“LIAM!” He screamed, back arching as he clenched around him, throwing his head back against the mattress, fingers sliding off of Liam’s back.

A sharp pain emerged from his shoulder blades, feeling Liam’s teeth sunk on his skin as Liam thrusts three more before slowly pulling out.

Zayn wasn’t able to register the next things that had happened, his eyelids dropped constantly: Liam kissed his cheeks. Then he stepped out of the bed. Liam went to the bathroom. And the last thing his eyes saw was Liam on the edge of the bed, and the feeling of his hands on his hair –  _just like what he used to do before._

As Zayn slowly drifted to his sleep, he felt a weight on his chest, a hot breathe on his ear, and suddenly, Liam’s voice saying, “ _I’m back, Zayn. And there’s no way I’m letting you go, now.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback would be awesome. ;)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you for everyone who patiently waits for this update. Hope you enjoy this one! x

**THUD. THUD. THUD.**

Zayn was leaning against his headboard, throwing his head back to the wall repeatedly. After the realization of what happened last night, he needed more than what he was doing. He needed a hard smack on his head, the one that could cause dementia or amnesia or anything that will stop his brain from remembering things or maybe just kill his brain. That would be better.

**THUD. THUD.**

He hit his head harder this time, kicking the pillow beside his foot in annoyance. His brain was functioning again, allowing him to see the embarrassing things that happened between him and Liam last night. Cursing, he grabbed the pillow pressed on his back and buried his faces on it, screaming until he was out of breathe. There’s no use. There’s nothing that he could do to turn back the time.

He just had sex with Liam on their very first meeting after five years. Of all the things they could’ve done, why sex? Why couldn’t it be just a plain conversation until they fall asleep in the sand? Or get really drunk then swim in the ocean and hope for the possibility of drowning because his ex is back. Why did he have to kiss Liam and Liam had to kiss him back? And who the hell invented the line, ‘Your house or mine?’ after kissing passionately?

**THUD.**

This is hopeless. This is what his art teachers had warned him about. _Don’t get exposed to chemicals of paint, it damages your brain._ Now it was too late, he made the wrong decisions and had to face the awkward consequences of it. He lifted his head and stared at his slow-moving ceiling fan. What if they bumped at each other? How would he react? What was he supposed to say?

“Hey, you fucked me good last night. Thanks. See ya.” Zayn dropped his head until his chin touched his collarbone, _This is gonna be fucking awkward,_ he thought. Thank goodness, Liam didn’t do what most couples do after they had sex. No sleep watching, no lingering, no body-locking-our-bodies-fit-together-perfectly kind of moment. If he did, Zayn could freeze to death from the embarrassment.

Sighing, Zayn left his bed and started picking up the pillows when he noticed something on his table.

His heart thumped furiously from what he saw. A perfectly cooked breakfast meal: Bacon, eggs, two pieces of pancake, two toasted bread and a glass of fresh apple juice. _Oh fuck._

It was Liam.

Of course it has to be Liam. Liam’s the only one who knows about his favourite meal. He’s the only who knows that he prefers scrambled eggs than sunny-side up, bacon that’s not too crispy and not too half-cooked, pancake with chocolate syrup topped and his bread, toasted on its side and a bit soft in the middle. Just looking at the food in front of him was enough to make his mouth water and his whole body cringing and drowning in euphoria.

Ever since the break-up, he never ate the exact breakfast ever, as it reminded him of the times when Liam used to cook for him even before he wakes up and now, he did it again. What was he trying to do with him?

Just then, he saw a piece of paper tucked under the plate.

Sighing, Zayn lifted the paper and read it:

_Sorry I can’t stay. My friends threw a party in my house without informing me and I have to make sure it’s all in one piece. Finish your breakfast, see you later. xx – L_

Zayn crumpled the paper as he gripped it on both hands, until it slowly ripped into two. He stared at the last line. He couldn’t stop his mind from thinking, from having these constant flashbacks as if everything just happened yesterday. He could still see himself perched on this bed, his eyes dropping constantly because Liam woke him up early and suddenly, a burst of energy pierces through his body from the scent of his cooking, and those words – those _exact_ same words Liam always said when he serves him his meal.

“Finish your breakfast.” And then Liam will lean in, kissing his forehead then his lips. _The two xx’s_ , Zayn thought. Standing in the middle of the room where Liam was just moments ago, he could imagine him there. He could hear the strides of his steps as he switched from the stove to the toaster to his fridge, the constant look Liam was giving to him, afraid that he’ll wake up and the way he manoeuvred inside his house as he owned it, knowing where to get the paper and the pen.

Zayn let the paper flutter away from his fingertips, looking at the bed where he and Liam just had sex – or, what – made love? Whatever it was, Zayn kept in mind that it all happened under the influence of the alcohol. It was an overwhelming feeling, seeing your ex again, treating you the same way as before and exchanging stories and the happiness, well, it was just channelled into something both of them didn’t expect.

Zayn smiled confidently. It’s just exes hooking up. _Who’s the bitter ex now, Niall?_ He thought. He’ll take this situation maturely. Liam was just being kind, maybe he’s not thinking about this much as he does. Hell, he might even be making fun of him, knowing that he’ll remember things like these.

There was nothing to worry about.

After all, it’s not like Liam went back for him, right?

\---

Zayn finished his breakfast within minutes, unable to hold his appetite for such a delicious meal. As expected of Liam, he did a great job.

He went downstairs, checking if everything’s fine before he goes to work, which is apparently in his room. He just needed to get outside before confining himself for the rest of the day again.

Just as he was about to open the door, he saw Niall on top of the bar, legs locked up behind Harry, his hands on his curls and Harry’s hand – _Oh God ­–_ he doesn’t even want to know. Zayn took a deep breath and opened the door as wide as possible, the dangling of the wind chimes immediately separated the flustered and shameless couple.

“Geez, Zayn. I was about to come.” Niall said flatly, pulling up his zipper and glaring at him. “We’re not supposed to open until 9 am.”

 “First, this is my bar too, so I’ll go here whenever I want, whether it’s open or not. Second, not because it’s closed, doesn’t mean you guys could do what you want in here. And lastly, Niall – I’m not interested if you didn’t come or whatever the fuck he’s trying to make you do.” Zayn shook his head, walking closer to the bar. “And Christ it’s early morning, can’t you guys do other things rather than making out?”

“It’s what we call as a Full-Irish breakfast, right babe?” Harry craned his neck, looking towards Niall who just nodded.

“You guys are disgusting. People drink in here.” Zayn pulled a stool and sat between the two. Now that he’s here, he doesn’t exactly know what he’s going to do now.

“So, aside from planning to cockblock this morning, what’s your plan?” Harry sat on the chair beside him, smiling like he’s anticipating for something. “Oh, I changed my mind. I’m not interested on that one anymore. Tell me about last night.”

Zayn flinched. _Did they know?_ Niall and harry exchanged looks, a smirk forming on Harry’s lips. “Ah, looks like something _did_ happen, Harry. It’s all over his face.”

Zayn leaned backwards, suddenly being suffocated from the intent looks both of them were giving him. “Nothing happened last night.” Zayn said, trying to keep his gaze on Niall and Harry. He failed.

“Aw, Zayn. You have to try better if you’re going to lie to us. We know you like the back of our palms.” Harry stretched his arms, waving his hands on him. _At least these blokes don’t know what his ideal breakfast is._ “So tell us. How did the sudden reunion went?”

Zayn hesitated, but realized that there’s no way these two would let him out of this place without knowing the whole story. Sometimes he wonders how he ended up having friends like them. “Alright, something happened. We – we had sex.”

“YES! I WON! HOLY SHIT! I KNEW IT!” Niall jumped out from the bar, prancing in front of them, shaking his hips and thrusting his hips while looking at Harry. “Oh, Haz. You better be ready.”

Zayn slapped his palm on his face. “Of course, I’m the reason for your guys’ entertainment again. Thank you very much.”

“Oh yeah, oh yeah. Someone’s going to wear a skirmffff-“ Harry quickly muffled his words, pressing his hand firmly on his mouth and whispering something until Niall’s face became so red and ended up nodding fervently.

“You guys. What the hell are you upto now?” Zayn asked, “Oh no. You don’t have to tell me. I don’t want to know.”

“Remember what you did yesterday? Look!” Niall showed Zayn both of his arms and when Zayn see nothing but a pale skin, Niall pushed it further. “Look at my goddamn wrist, you blind man.”

“Even with a 20-20 vision couldn’t see that if they’re these close, you idiot.” Zayn held his arms and pushed it away and locked his eyes on his wrists. There were visible red lines on it. When he looked closer, he finally saw that the red lines weren’t just lines – but marks of a rope tied tightly on it.

“Whoa. What happened last night? Were you kidnapped or what?” Zayn looked at Harry who was smiling widely. _Of fucking course, it’s all about sex again._

“Harry tied me in my fucking bed, Zayn. He tied me. On. My. Fucking. Bed. I’ve never been traumatized in my whole life.”

“Please. Can we stop talking about-“

“You say it like you didn’t like it. When I tied you, all you said was ‘Harry, _please,_ make it tighter, make sure I won’t touch my-“

“STOP!” Niall screamed, jumping at him, but Harry quickly dodged Niall’s fist. And then Niall was chasing Harry around the bar, toppling chairs, pulling the curtains, bumping on the wine cabinets – it was a mystery how the bar survived from these two. For the next couple of minutes, Zayn watched the two of them chase until they ran outside.

He was sure as hell he’s going to die early from just the two of them. Zayn swivelled his chair, facing the counter. He remembered Niall’s wrist – how could they do such kinky things? They obviously hurt, but if what Harry said was true...

 “ZAYN! Liam’s on his way here!” Niall announced, panting.

In a blink of an eye, Zayn jumped over the counter and hid himself.

“What the fuck?” He heard Harry’s voice coming closer. “What the hell are you doing there?”

 _What the hell am I doing here?_ He’s the one should ask this. Zayn wasn’t sure why, but even with the realization that there’s nothing to worry about. He just couldn’t face him right now. Maybe later, but not now. His fucking speech wasn’t ready yet. He still wasn’t successful planning what he’ll do when he meet Liam.

This is all happening too fast and unexpected.

“Tell him I went to the supermarket.” Zayn looked up, Niall and Harry’s face looking down at him. “Stop grinning, you fuckers. I need – I need to-“

“Of course, you need to think.” Niall cut him off. “Sex on the first meeting is quite _awkward_. Not to mention, you guys actually have a past.”

“Alright, goddamit. I get your point. Now will you please, act as if no one is behind this counter? _Please?”_

“Niall, he said please.” Harry said in a tone like he couldn’t fucking believe it. As usual, these guys will find a way to make fun of him, as if it wasn’t normal.

“Harold. I heard it. But not clearly, I don’t know. Care to say it again, Zayn?”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Niall! Please, alright. Please? Tell Liam I went to the supermarket-

The door chimed. The shadows above his head disappeared, and now, Zayn could only hope for the salvation of his soul that his two friends – his best friends – would help him get out of this one.

“Liam! It’s so nice to see you. But we’re not open yet.” Niall said cheerfully.

“Oh yeah. I – I saw it. I was just wondering if Zayn’s upstairs.” Liam’s voice sent a chill down Zayn’s spine, making him shiver from where he was sitting. This is impossible. Now, even Liam’s voice could take a toll on him? He buried his head on his knees – he could hear it again – he could hear his voice right beside his ear, moaning, whispering his name, calling him names.

“Why? Did something happen last night?” Harry asked, feigning innocence. Zayn could feel himself crumbling bit by bit. “Did you guys fought or something?”

“Oh, he didn’t mention anything to you?”

Niall and Harry exchanged looks and right on cue, they shook their heads.

“Well, is he upstairs?” Zayn couldn’t help himself but wonder why Liam wanted to see him this early. Is this about what happened last night? Is he going to apologize? Why would he? It’s not like it mattered for both of them, right? No feelings attached, no harm done. It’s just a simple drunken sex. Why would Liam even bother to see him? Or was it not about last night? Maybe he’ll ask him about the breakfast, if it’s still good as it was. That’s it.

That should be it.

“Nope. He went to the supermarket. He said he needed some stuffs to buy.” Harry finally answered, and Zayn felt a bit relieved.

“Supermarket? How come I didn’t meet him halfway?”

 _Shit._ The way to the supermarket was down the road, and if he did went in there, there’s the huge possibility that he and Liam would’ve seen each other.

“Oh, yeah. Zayn doesn’t really go that way.” Niall suddenly chipped in.

“What do you mean?”

“He went through the forest.”

“The forest?” Liam asked, looking at the forest’s way a couple of feet beside the bar. “He went to the supermarket in that way?”

“Oh yeah. He’s feeling a bit adventurous today.” Harry added. “Don’t worry, when he comes back, I’ll tell him you came here. Any message?”

“Ah, no. I prefer to tell it myself.” Liam said.

“Oh, sure. We’ll tell him. Take care, Li-Li.”

“Yeah, see you guys around.”

There was a silence and then the doors chimed again, signal that Liam already left. It was also the time for Zayn to finally breathe the air of life once again. But he didn’t stand up. He wasn’t able to find the strength to. Hearing Liam’s voice over and over again was like being submerged to the water without warning and pulling him up then pushing him down before he could gasp for air.

It bothered him to the very extent of what Liam will tell him. Even though he knew he shouldn’t be, it was unavoidable. Liam was one hell of unpredictable and unavoidable type of person. Zayn was an old dying tree, and Liam is this goddam mushroom who keeps popping out of nowhere even if they were pulled out years and years ago. When he wanted to say something, he’ll say it, no matter how far Zayn will try to run to.

And Zayn couldn’t deny the fact that he was scared, for whatever Liam was about to say to him.

“Aye, he’s gone, mate. Get up and go back to work.” Niall poked his head and Zayn, for the first time, didn’t bat his hand away.

He took a deep breath and stoop up. “I guess I’ll go to the supermarket after all.”

\---

Ending up going to the supermarket, Zayn found another reason to kill time before he kills himself on his unfinished painting, thanks to Liam who distracted him all the way.

“Zayn. Zayn Malik, right?”

Zayn turned around to see an unfamiliar face. A lad his age, he assumed, tousled, brunette hair, blue eyes almost like the ocean, tan skin, but seeing the glow on it, he assumed it was natural. He felt like he had seen him before, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Still, Zayn smiled, nodding.

“I knew it. You’re the one in the picture.”

“The one in the picture?” Zayn echoed, cocking an eyebrow. “What picture?”

“Oh, sorry. You weren’t in the party last night, right?” The stranger asked, leaning back on one foot and putting his hand on his waist and slightly swinging his basket on the other.

So that’s it. He caught a glimpse on him when he was peeking through the window. He was one of Liam’s friends. It was obvious, people in Lilac island was easy to memorize. They’re in a small island. It’s easy to recognize who’s the local and who’s not.

The stranger, stretched for his hand, his face crinkling from his grin. “I’m Louis Tomlinson, Liam’s surfer friend slash gate crasher. But please, call me Lou.”

“Zayn. But it seems like you already know me.” Zayn teased, shaking his hand. “So, about the picture?”

“Right. It’s Liam’s, obviously. He had this picture of you back when you were in college, in his godddamn wallet. Talk about creepy, right?”

Zayn’s face burned. He could actually feel himself blushing, if that’s even possible. He felt like he was floating – the happiness was undeniable – whatever the reason is, there’s no denying he felt like a teenage girl finding out that her crush had a crush on him too. Actually, it was more like a real story. But seriously? Liam? Keeping a picture of him on his wallet? It’s unbelievable it was making him giddy.

“Man, that person is creepy as fuck. We lived together ever since he went to New York and all I could hear from him was ‘Zayn’s like that’, ‘Zayn’s not like that’, ‘Zayn likes that oh he’ll love that’ – he was mentioning your name for like a thousand times everyday it feels like I have a third roommate or what.”

Zayn composed himself. He couldn’t act like this in front of his friend. But imagining Liam doing that, he felt a mixture of emotions. When Liam left, all Zayn could think of was to cut off his communications with him, not responding to his messages and mails. And now that he got a glimpse of what happened after, he felt happy, knowing Liam thought about him all the time, but guilty as well, for what he did to him.

“When the tournament finished last year, all he could think of was going home to this island, he even packed his bags a week earlier! I mean, is that even possible? I’ve never met someone like him. He’s the good definition of love-sick or something.” Louis continued, poking the vegetable from where they were standing. “I mean, after all that you did to him, he still came back here, right? Talk about being stupid.”

Suddenly, the atmosphere between the two of them changed. This isn’t a friendly confrontation, this is a fucking rant. Now that he was conscious of it, Zayn felt the coldness from Louis’s eyes. He was looking at him, smiling, but his eyes were dead, as if his eyes were telling the exact opposite of his smiles. If this was a vampire movie, this is what he calls, the ‘murderous aura’, the one that could kill without touching someone. Talk about watching too many vampire films.

He knows all about it. He knows about Liam sending letters to him, and Zayn not responding back.

“Finally, I thought you’d never get it.” His whole friendly demeanour changed, as if he wasn’t even the person who greeted him just a while ago. “I’m not planning on threatening you or anything, but I’m Liam’s friend. And I came here all the way from New York to make sure he’ll wake up from his delusional love. I’m going to warn you – stay away, if you have no plans on going back to him.” He spat bitterly, his voice was like daggers piercing through Zayn. Zayn figured he wanted to say this for years.

“Lou-“

“Oh spare the drama, Zayn. Don’t tell me things I already know. Liam went all his way through here because he misses you so badly. Or, to what he says, loves you. You have no _fucking_ idea what he went through from all those years. And here he is, ready to sweep you off your feet. So if you’re not serious about this, tell him in his face and then we could all pretend this conversation didn’t even happen.”

Before Zayn could explain his side, whatever explanation it was, Louis left.

\---

Zayn spent the next few hours walking to the shore, watching the locals and the tourists take pictures of the sunset, dip into the waters before it become so cold you wouldn’t even be able to take another step, and couples making out under beach umbrellas.

All he wanted was to kill time and it seems like it was a bad plan after all. He was able to escape bumping into Liam, but instead, he received the wrath of his best friend, Louis inside a supermarket. He didn’t even hold back. He said what he wanted, he was clear about it, yet – Zayn couldn’t believe what he said about Liam.

Liam suffered for five years? Impossible. It can’t be. There should come a point where a person can move on, where he could forget and leave the feelings behind. To look forward to his future instead of holding back to your past and kept being pulled back. That’s how a break-up was supposed to be. Liam can’t be here because of him. It was too absurd. After all he did to him? Louis was right.

Liam was supposed to give up on this love five years ago.

Zayn wasn’t sure if he was successful about it, but it doesn’t matter now. He should do what Louis asked him. He should tell him that there’s nothing to hope for, anymore. It’s done for both of them. What happened last night was nothing....

But then there’s the doubt on his heart, the same doubt he felt when he told Liam about the break-up. It’s been five years already, goddamit. Why is he thinking about all this now? He was determined before, determined before Liam arrived – there was nothing left anymore. But then all of a sudden, he’s here. He showed up, smiled at him, talked to him as if nothing happened. And then now he’s all confused.

It was then that Zayn realized his feet dragged him into a familiar place.

He brushed away the branches and from one swing of his arms towards the tall bushes, he saw the other person who only knew about this place – Liam, lying on the grass and surrounded by Lilac.

He stepped closer, hovering his face above Liam’s. Zayn couldn’t help but to smile, seeing the peaceful look on his face whenever he was sleeping. It brought a number of memories – Liam sleeping on his lap after the surfing practice, Liam sleeping next to him after they had sex – all of which brought more confusion on Zayn.

He’s going to end it tonight. He’s going to tell him to hope for nothing anymore. That they’re love story was over five years ago.

“So, are you just going to watch me sleep, or what?”

Zayn walked back, losing his balance and dropping back first on the grass. Good thing this cliff’s not the rocky one.

Liam sat up, brushing the Lilacs off of his shoulders. When their eyes met, Liam quickly stood up and knelt beside him. “I’m sorry I startled you. You alright?”

“Yeah. How’d you know it was me?”

“Ha! As if there are people in this place who knows about this place.” Liam said confidently.

“Well, we haven’t been here for long. Who knows how many people discovered this.” Zayn felt the coolness of the grass beneath his hands. He felt Liam’s fingers touched his skin, sending an electrifying shock Zayn had to pull away. _Just tell him, Zayn. Tell him he should just concentrate on his surfing in this island and not try to woo him or whatever he had in mind._

Just tell him.

“Hey, you look so down. Did something happen?” Liam held his chin and turned his face on him. It was hard to look at him, seeing the worry in his eyes. Zayn felt so fucking guilty he could throw himself off the cliff right now.

Zayn pulled his best-fake smile and shook his head. “It’s nothing.”

“Zayn, you know I know you’re lying.” Liam’s words struck him like lightning, paralyzing his body he couldn’t even look away from him now. Of course, Niall and Harry aren’t the only one who knows when he’s lying. “Tell me about it.”

And then Liam had pulled him closer, his hand sliding down his arm until it met his hand. It was a completely different feeling, holding Liam again, conscious and without the powerful spirit of the alcohol. It was draining his energy. The feeling inside Zayn was too much to handle all at once. He kept on hearing Louis’s words, but the beating of his heart was louder.

Liam turned away for a second and lifted a fully-bloomed Lilac between his thumb and forefinger. He dropped the flower on his palm, cocking his head as they both look into the four-petal violet flower. Lilac, the flower known in their island as it grows a large amount into the forest. People said that Lilac symbolizes ‘First Love’ and that people who received it meant that wherever that person go, whoever they meet – they would always find their way back to each other.

_If you’re not serious about this, tell him in his face..._

Zayn looked at Liam. He can’t let such myth decide for him. It can’t apply on everyone. He had hurt him before, there’s no way he’s here because of him. Still, Zayn can’t leave without asking.

“Liam...why – why are you here?”

Zayn was expecting a shocked reaction, an angry one to be more precise. But instead, Liam shook his head and brushed his thumb along his cheek.

“Isn’t it obvious? It’s right in front of you, Zayn.”

Zayn blinked. And before he could ask him what he was referring to, Liam leaned in and closed the gap between their lips. Liam tipped his forehead against his and felt the brush of his finger on his palm. When Zayn looked down, he finally got what Liam was trying to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me your thoughts or something bad will happen on this fic. *evil laugh*


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well. Big thanks to Liam for going out in the sun and wearing those reflective aviators that it gave me a decent amount of surfer!liam feels. *cries in the corner*
> 
> So here ya go. Hope you enjoy this.

Zayn waited for a punchline, a laugh or a taunt saying, ‘Dude, you’re so serious. Of course there’s no way I’m here because of you’. He stared back and waited but all Liam did was to stare back at him as well with a hint of smile on his lips as if he was enjoying every minute of Zayn’s reaction from what he just did.

Or maybe he does enjoy it.

He wasn’t so sure what to feel or do at the moment. He wasn’t sure if his body wanted to hug Liam for being so sweet and old-fashioned but still, sweet that Zayn felt like he’s eating a tower of cinnamon roll. He wasn’t sure if he should tear the flower in his hand and throw it to Liam then jump off a cliff and expect his head to hit a rock so he could just forget this whole thing happened because he still couldn’t believe it.

He still couldn’t believe that Liam was here. He still couldn’t believe that they just had sex last night and he’s here again in their secret place and then doing this simple gesture enough to mess up his mind and bring out thousands of feelings inside him that he never knew existed.

He couldn’t think of a good and valid reason why Liam would be here, normally giving him a piece of Lilac which symbolizes first love, and then come up with the perfect line of ‘Isn’t it obvious, it’s right in front of you’, and then leaning in to kiss him as if this whole moment was planned to be done.

If there was one thing he mostly agreed from what Louis said, it would be the part of Liam being stupid. He really was stupid. Zayn had no idea how many litres of water clogged up his brain from surfing but he knew Liam was so stupid for doing this. What if he already left the island? What if he already got himself a boyfriend? What if he was already dead or he was suffering from some chemical related disease because of his painting materials? What if he doesn’t feel anything for him anymore?

He wanted to throw all these questions at Liam, to ask him and to knock his head on something to wake him up. He tried to open his mouth but all he could do was swallow every word until it blocked on his throat and all he did was to take deep breathes.

“You know, you don’t have to look so shocked.” Liam said, cocking his head a bit.

Don’t have to look so shocked? Are you fucking kidding me, right now? How in the world could he not be shocked, or look like he wasn’t so shocked at all? His ex-boyfriend is here. A once hobbyist of surfing turned into one hell of a professional surfer that could make the water turn into lava, was right here. Liam’s here out of fucking nowhere, without any notice and then giving him a Lilac as if it was the most normal thing in the world to do after you haven’t seen your ex for five years. And he expects him not to look so shocked?

Zayn averted his gaze and looked down. He had to say something. “Liam, I – you need-“

“No, Zayn. You don’t have to say anything. I know exactly what you’re thinking.”

Zayn gulped. “Y-you do?”

“Fucking hell, I do.” Zayn had no idea since when did Liam cursing could actually turn him on but he quickly brushed the idea away. “It’s written all over your face when you first saw me back at the bar. You were shaking, Zayn. You were thinking if I’m just a hallucination or something and if you’re just dreaming. You were in the verge of running away if I didn’t do those puppy eyes.” Liam smirked.

“You! You knew that I’d fall for that. My god, I’m so stupid.” Zayn breathed out. He wasn’t so sure if he’s angry for falling into that trap or because Liam knew he’d fall for it.

“Of course I knew you’d buy that. You’re still the same.”

“Wha-“ Zayn’s words were cut off when Liam placed his hand on his chest, gently pushing him to the ground.

In a blink of an eye, Liam was on top of him, his head in between Liam’s large hands, his body trapped on Liam’s knees. He felt his body melt under him. Zayn couldn’t even push him away. He lost every ounce of strength he had because Liam was so near again. So near that Zayn could feel the heat coming from Liam’s body even though he wasn’t even touching him. He was so near he could smell his scent, such familiar scent. He could smell the cool mint coming from Liam’s mouth, breathing on his cheeks. And even with the slightest touch of Liam’s fingers on his hair and on his hands, Zayn felt like he’s going to combust any second.

Liam looked down on his chest for a second, smirking from the sight of his body heaving visibly against his shirt.

“Oh shut up.”

Liam chuckled. “What? I didn’t say anything.” He leaned down and kissed his forehead, feeling the smile on his skin. “But you know, I was really happy when I saw you like that. I was scared that you would look at me normally, greet me like a friend when we finally see each other– but then you reacted like that and damn, I knew I still had an effect on you. I could still make your heart beat faster and I could still be in your mind even if you don’t want to.” Liam hovered closer, his lips touching his left ear as he said those words.

Zayn bit his lips in attempt to hold back his moan or any embarrassing sound. He had no idea that was what Liam was thinking that time – and to think he’s the only one scared in their encounter. He felt a bit relived and happy at the same time.

“But you know what’s the best part?” Zayn wanted to say ‘No, I don’t want to know because I’m so embarrassed please get off me’ but all he could do was to tightly grip the grass under his palm when he felt Liam nibbling his ear. “It’s when you kissed me. God, it all came back to me, Zayn. You still want me the same way I want you. I wasn’t really planning on doing anything to you. Not even to touch you on our first meeting after a long time, even though I really wanted to. But then you lead me, so-“

“Hey! I didn’t lead you! It was – it was the drink. I didn’t plan on kissing you…” Liam pulled himself up and stared back at him, his tongue rolling inside his mouth until Zayn saw the bump on his cheek. God, everything he does is turning me on, this is bad. “We were drunk.”

Liam chuckled and Zayn couldn’t believe Liam wasn’t getting pissed on what he was saying about what happened to both of them last night.

“See, I know this is what you’re thinking so I went to the bar this morning, but you weren’t around.”

“What do you mean?”

“I know you’re thinking what happened between us was an accident, a drunken sex, whatever you call it, but it’s not. My friends always told me that no matter how drunk you are, you always know what you’re doing. The alcohol just gave you the courage to do it. To kiss me and to do more than that.”

Zayn felt the burn on his cheeks and turned his face on the side. He couldn’t stay looking at that smug on his face, like he was so sure of everything that he’s saying and that he really knew what he was thinking. And now he even brought this alcohol theory in here.

“You’ve lost your mind.” He muttered.

“Yeah, maybe I do.” And without warning, Liam bit the skin on his neck, almost making Zayn jump if it wasn’t his whole weight was on him now.

“Liam!” Zayn brought his hands on his shoulders and tried to push him away, but then his whole body reacted the different way when he felt the warm and wet swirl of his tongue against his skin.

“Shit-“ He tried again, only to end up tightening his grip on his shoulders, crumpling Liam’s shirt under his fist.

Liam smiled, seeing his win on this. He started biting and sucking from one spot to another, until Zayn’s skin turn bright red and his body started to twitch, his legs slowly pulling upwards and his toes curling on his sandals.

“We can’t – We’re not doing this here. People might see us.” Zayn bit back his moan when Liam bit harder and felt his body shift above him, intentionally rubbing his groin against Zayn’s growing bulge. “Fuck, Liam – stop it.”

Liam ignored his protests and pushed further until Zayn gives up and just bucked his hips up to get more friction. If he couldn’t push him away, then what else was he supposed to do?

“I told you, no one knows about this place aside from the two of us. Or did you mention it to Harry and Niall?”

Zayn shook his head fervently. Why would he mention it to Harry and Niall? This was their place, their spot – something that only he and Liam know about – and he can’t share it to anyone.

“Good.” Liam kissed him on his chin and was just about to do the same thing with his lips when his phone rang. “Shit.”

“Take it.” Zayn said, flustered. When Liam finally lifted his body (and his crotch) off of him, Zayn mimicked his actions, pulling his body upwards. There he realized how much he’s holding his breath that he had to swallow a big amount of air enough to supply him for the next things to happen. Not like he was expecting more, but just in case.

“I’m sorry. It’s Adam. They just turned my house into a bloody bubble bath.” Liam groaned, sitting cross-legged beside him. “They used a dishwashing liquid – and I don’t know what else. They were screaming, ‘Liam! Liam! It’s all over the living room – the foam’ – then they make those gurgling sound as if they were drowning. Christ, they’re like middle school kids.”

Zayn laughed, throwing his head back a little. “And you’re acting like a daddy. They’re just having fun.”

“I’m not acting like a daddy. And besides, they should’ve waited.”

“I didn’t know you have a thing with bubble baths.”

“It’s their idea.”

“Of course.”

“What?” Liam nudged his shoulder. “What are you smiling at?”

“I don’t know. I just can’t imagine Liam Payne – having a bubble bath – with his friends. Make sure you guys have those rubber duckies or floating animals. It’ll be fun.” Zayn teased, smiling a bit more and returning the nudge. God, they’re acting like teenagers.

“Well, if you’re having a hard time imagining what I would look like having a bubble bath, you’re free to join me.” He said, catching Zayn off guard and blowing a tiny stream of air on his ear. “I could scrub your back and you can massage me-“

“You cocky pervert!” Zayn pushed him away, throwing a bunch of Lilac to his direction. He touched his ear and he swore he could still feel the burn on it. “Next time you do that, I’m going to hit you.”

“You’re still the same, Zayn. Still the same.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Zayn was just about to look away when Liam’s hand grabbed his face and kissed him on his lips this time.

Liam pulled just an inch away, enough for Zayn to look directly into his eyes.

“You know what I’m talking about.” Liam stood up, grinning and looking triumphant from what he did as he ran his fingers through his hair. Zayn just have to stare in awe as Liam’s face lighted up, his jaws looking much better if he’s looking from below and his eyes, dark yet glinting from the small amount of light coming from the setting sun. Since when did Liam become this good-looking enough for him to move his eyes in every part of his body and find a good compliment for it?

He knows he’s still the same, old Liam. But there was something on his smirk, on his eyes and the way he stands and looks at him that makes him think otherwise.

“You’re drooling, Malik.” Liam’s voice cut him off his thoughts, smiling at him as if again, he knows what was running inside his head. “If you want me to stay, just ask.”

“Go take a bubble bath, Payne. I think you’re still having your jet lag.” Zayn said flatly, proud enough that he didn’t choke those words.

Liam nodded, smiling fondly at him as he walked closer to him. This time, Zayn kept his defences up if ever Liam did something sneaky like the guy he was. Instead, Liam reached for his hair and ruffled it, his eyes crinkling from the way his lips pulled upwards.

“We’ll continue this later, so you better be ready.”

Zayn’s jaw dropped, his lips quivering a bit. Continue what exactly? ‘Cause there’s no way they’re going to do this again, not when his mind’s all jumbled up and his feelings confused and all over the place. Before he could say something again, Liam was walking away and saying goodnight, before he disappeared among the bushes.

It took Zayn a couple more minutes before it finally sink in to him that Liam wasn’t there anymore. He could still feel the heat from where his fingertips touched, where his lips stayed and where his eyes looked at. He felt like he’s drowning in a pool of hot water, an endless whirlpool of burning sensation he couldn’t really explain. And even with the cold breeze blowing on his back, all he could feel was the warmth of Liam’s body when it was pressed against his own, as if he wasn’t even gone.

Just like how it always was even after five years had gone by.

—-

Miraculously, even with the constant ring of Liam’s voice inside his head, Zayn was able to finish his last piece of painting. Even if Liam was really here (he still couldn’t believe it), he couldn’t neglect his work. If Liam could do both surfing and messing with his brain, Zayn was the other way around, he couldn’t. He needed some time alone to think and to decide what he’ll do the next time he’ll see him.

Hopefully, that day isn’t today.

“Man, please don’t tell me today was supposed to be your ‘delivery’ day.”

“I just brought five massive easels from my floor, Niall. Do I look like I’m working out?” Zayn said, wiping the trickle of sweat on his chin as he looked for a familiar curly. “Where’s Harry?”

“Oh shit. Today really is your delivery day.” Niall stepped out of the counter, scratching his head and nibbling his thumb that was enough to make him look like a monkey who lost its hair. “I asked Harry to get our new stocks today, so he brought the car with him.”

“I told you before I went up that I was going to finish the painting last night, meaning – I’m going to deliver it today.” Zayn frowned. It was just ten in the morning and it looked like he’s off to having a bad day.

“Dude, I’m sorry. It slipped out of my mind.” Niall curled his fingers on his apron, too guilty to look at him.

“So how am I supposed to bring this now? Take a bus? Borrow a trolley?” He really needs to buy his own car. Niall and Harry had suggested it before, but he really isn’t the outgoing, get-out-of-my-house-every-fifteen-minutes kind of guy so he just shrugged it off. “Don’t you know anyone who’s on their way to the town now and maybe give me a lift?”

“Well, actually, I kind of did ask someone just in case today was really your delivery day, but-“

“Good!” Zayn clapped his hands. “You should’ve said it earlier instead of hearing me rant in here.” He hooked his arm above Niall’s shoulder and patted his chest. “So, who’s the angel who agreed to take me to the town hall?”

“That angel would be me.” Zayn heard the movement of chair behind him and quickly turned around, ready to flash his most grateful smile for whosoever agreed to be with him but only to be taken aback when he realized who it was. “Good morning, Zayn.”

Liam greeted him with a smile, his eyes hiding behind the reflective aviator shades. Now that he was standing up, he got the attention of the three girls on the counter, shamelessly checking him out from his white tank top and navy blue beach shorts.

“Why are you here?” Zayn asked, narrowing his eyes on him. Of all the people that could lend him a hand, why would it be the person he doesn’t want to see today? Why him? His other self was crying out loud inside him right now.

“Niall called me. He said you might need a hand.” Liam answered in such an energetic tone he doesn’t seem to notice that he’s questioning his existence inside his bar.

Of fucking course, it’s Niall. Zayn slowly turned around and gave him the most deathly glare he could come up with. He mouthed the words, “I’m. Gonna. Kill. You.”

Niall tugged his arm and excused them from Liam for a minute. “You said you needed someone to drive you to the town hall. And I gave you one, an absolutely hot one, yeah?”

“I will cut your balls in your sleep, Niall Horan.”

“Whoa. It was Harry’s idea, alright? No touching of balls.”

“Then I’m gonna cut his, then yours, I don’t care.” Zayn wiped his hand on his face. There’s no way he’s going to be with Liam for three hours and then another three hours on their way home. He couldn’t think straight when he’s with him, add up some of his cockiness and Zayn wouldn’t survive the whole trip. “I just – I need some time away from him.”

“Well, now’s not the time to have some time away from him. After all, this is for your job and you need to deliver your painting, right?”

Well, Niall has a point and he used it wisely. Zayn took a deep breath. There’s no use in fighting anymore, he needed to deliver this before lunch, and if he tried to look for another driver, he’ll be late. He made a quick glance over his shoulder to where Liam was, now sitting and happily slurping his watermelon shake.

He looked back at Niall, sighing. “I have a feeling this isn’t going to end up good.”

Niall patted his back. “Don’t be so negative about this, alright? Just enjoy the trip!” With a hard push, Zayn was walking towards Liam, who in response, stood up and smiled.

“We’re leaving?” Liam stood in front of him, his bare shoulders somehow getting a bit distracting.

“Uh-yeah. Just, put those paintings at the back of your truck.” He glanced outside the door, seeing the same old pick-up truck that Liam never tried to replace with a brand new one. It was still the same, blue, truck that was almost rusting, with random streaks of paint in it but still functions perfectly. Liam even named it ‘Z’ for very obvious reasons.

“Hey, it’s a beautiful day and your face is already like that.” Liam poked his index between his eyebrows, nudging the obvious scrunch on his face. Zayn tried to remain calm and gently push his finger away, even though his heart was already back flipping and knocking on his chest furiously. It was just a touch and every part of Zayn’s body just softens and he felt like falling any second.

Just as he turned around, he felt a grip on his shirt that pulled him backwards.

“You know if you continue frowning, I might have to do something with that.” Liam whispered, brushing his mouth on the shell of his ear enough for Zayn’s knees to feeble and almost drop to the ground if it wasn’t Liam’s grip on his waist. He gulped as he watched Niall passed by them as if they didn’t exist, but he was smiling so it was already given. A part of him wanted to run away and just deliver those fucking paintings or turn around and kiss Liam to shut his mouth.

Fuck it. Zayn turned around and grabbed Liam’s wrist, dragging him all the way to the bar’s restroom. When the door clicked, Liam dropped his shades and his mouth met Zayn’s quickly, shoving him against the door and lifting him up quickly that all Zayn have to do was to lock his ankles on his back. Their mouths moved hungrily, hands all over their skins, the burn that Liam left yesterday multiplied and if he’s not going to do anything about it, he’s going to explode.

“Make it quick – I need to be there before lunch.” Zayn murmured, removing his own shirt and throwing it on the floor.

Liam nodded in response, too busy working on his pants. When he finally felt the strain on his pants left him and slide to his knees, Zayn tugged Liam’s top until their naked bodies were pressed together, hot and flushed. Liam grabbed his ass and brought it down to his groin, an unexpected moan escaping his lips when he felt Liam’s hardening cock on him.

“Looks like you’ve lost some of your patience while I was gone.” Liam bit his jaw, down to his neck and nipped the skin as hard as he could on wherever his mouth could touch. “We’ve never done something like this before.”

“Shut up – just –“ Zayn doesn’t need to know what happened to their past, he’s fucking aware of it. They never done this before – they were always safe, always on the intimate side and not on the exciting one. But even with the suddenness of this situation, everything still feels the same. Nothing changed. It was still Liam’s body against his, his breathe tingling his skin, his touch making his whole body squirm and twitch and curl all at the same time.

Liam pushed him further to the wall, balancing him with his shoulders pressed on him as Liam dragged down his shorts. When Liam held his hips again, he leaned and kissed him again, his tongue swiping on the roof of his mouth before he felt his fingers enter his mouth. Zayn sucked obediently, slightly becoming conscious from the way Liam watched his tongue slide on his digits.

Zayn’s fingers started digging on Liam’s scalp when the lad prodded his fingers in without much warning.

“Fuck. You’re so beautiful looking like that.” Liam mumbled on his collarbone, curling his fingers inside of him that all Zayn could do was moan back in reply. “Yeah, push your ass on my fingers.”

Zayn’s hand dropped on his shoulders, digging his nails on his skin as he pulled his body upwards and met Liam’s fingers as he pushed down. It was all too much – the friction on their chests, Liam’s voice ringing repeatedly on his head and the slick sound of his fingers stretching him and prepping him was all too much he could come right then and there.

But Liam seemed to notice so he immediately pulled his fingers out and started pumping his cock while his other hand snaked on Zayn’s waist, holding him up. His head dropped back, knocking on the wood too loudly that it might start a commotion outside – but the idea of being caught and Niall knocking on them disappeared instantly when Liam guided him down until he felt the tip of his cock.

“AHH!” Zayn wasn’t able to hold back his scream as Liam pulled him down, thrusting and hitting his prostate at once. Liam leaned back, his eyes switching from completely shut to just watching Zayn with his mouth hung open, sweat running down on his skin and Zayn couldn’t help but admire the way he glistens.

“God. So. Fucking. Perfect.” Liam thrust harder, not really giving a fuck on how loud they were pounding the door now and Zayn couldn’t care less much about it. He loved the way he was feeling. He loved the way Liam just handles him and holds him and says those sweet nothings directly on his ear.

“Oh shit, Liam – fuck – there. Harder.” Zayn’s voice mixed with the sound of their slick bodies slapping against each other. Liam was pounding inside him relentlessly, his body sliding down as he felt his orgasm drawing near. He had his eyes shut now, just feeling every inch of Liam inside him, every kiss and his movements and the way they fall into this perfect rhythm – he was so damn near, and yet, Liam was going faster and faster –

“SHIT – Li!” Zayn clenched on Liam’s cock, his release shooting on their chests. He felt like his soul just left him as he hugged Liam closer, still moving inside him with slow thrusts.

“FUCK.” Liam grunted, thrusting two more before they dropped together on the floor, panting and their bodies entangled. Liam’s dropped his head on Zayn’s shoulder as he slowly pulled out. “Fuck. I think I just lost all my energy for today.” He laughed weakly, his thumb brushing on Zayn’s waist.

“Hey, you’re still going to take me to the town hall.” Zayn slapped his chest with the back of his hand. But honestly, he felt the same way. “Now, toss me my shirt, will you?”

“Bossy.”

“Shut up.”

When they were fully clothed and Zayn was still feeling the sting on his hips, Liam suddenly hurled him around pinning him back to the door..

“What?” Don’t tell me you want another one.

“I forgot to tell you what I really wanted to tell you when I went here yesterday.”

“Yeah? What is it?”

Liam slid his hand on his arm until their fingers linked. There was a sudden silence that surrounded between them, as if they didn’t do each other at all and they were just inside this bathroom, holding hands and looking at each others’ eyes.

“You’re making me nervous.”

“I missed you, Zayn.” He said out of the blue, then he was leaning forward and started peppering his forehead with light kisses. “I missed your hair.” Another kiss. “I missed your voice, your eyes, the way you looked at me.” He went for another kiss, then another, then another until finally, Liam kissed him on his lips – this time, longer, gentler and the feeling lingering even if he pulled back. “I missed you so much, Zayn.”

Zayn was about to open his mouth when they were interrupted by two loud knocks at the door.

“Hey guys, some guys need to pee. ‘Cause for your information, this is actually a bar and people drink and-“

“We get your point, Niall. We’re leaving.” Zayn called out then turned back to Liam, who was now wiping the glass of his shades. He looked at him for a second, as if the time had stopped and Zayn wondered if Liam wanted a reply from what he said. When Liam looked at him with a gentle smile on his lips, he realized he was waiting.

“I missed you too, Liam. “

Zayn never thought he’d see that genuine smile of Liam ever again. And now that he’s here again, looking like he was waiting for those four words ever since he came in here, Zayn felt both happiness and a pang of guilt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Leave some feedback. I'll be very happy! :>


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like every update is like a resurrection of a long-lost fic. Sorry for the delay (I know you keep hearing this, but get used to it if you read my works! Hahaha) I hope I did justice for letting you wait for long... Enjoy and leave some bad-ass, face-slapping feedback. I’ll love you 10x more. xx

It was already dark when Zayn’s agent finished discussing about his future projects and, being aware that Liam had been waiting patiently for more than an hour, Zayn thought it’d be nice to give him a hot cup of coffee, even though it’s just something from the vending machine. Liam isn’t really picky with coffees and Zayn had this confidence that even if it’s shit, if it’s from him, Liam would appreciate it.

Walking back to the parking lot, he remembered how awkward he acted throughout the entire trip, thanks to his brilliant idea of having sex with him out of nowhere. He knew he should still blame Niall and Harry for this, but it was his fault as well, losing control just because Liam kept riling him up and giving in to what his body was telling him. He stopped thinking about it -- now wasn’t the time to remember what happened after that.

Liam, as usual, acted normally towards him and kept chatting him up, oblivious to how embarrassed he felt that time. He kept talking about how missed a certain place and how he wanted to try some of the food they just passed by earlier and was even smart enough to mention some of the things they’ve done before. Something tells Zayn that Liam was doing it on purpose, although he wasn’t really sure now if he hated it or if he kind of liked it.

Being with Liam was like being in a time machine. As if every word he say brought him back to an exact scene they were, several years ago. And even if he tried to ignore it, some of his feelings came back as well.

But what if it was just for that moment? What if he was just getting carried away by that sudden rush of memories inside his head of what the two of them were before? Liam might’ve told him he missed him and that he came back for him, and yes, he had to admit he was happy to know that as well, but that doesn’t mean they were going to get back together, right? Besides, there are still a lot of things Liam doesn’t know, and so was Zayn. But what if he wanted to – could this mean he’d give both of them a chance?

He was just about to dwell in deeper to the situation when Zayn heard something that sounded like girls screaming and giggling that could be compared to an utter burst of pheromones. Zayn walked faster, until he realized the sound was coming from the parking lot. Turning to his right, Zayn took a couple of steps back, dumbstruck by the view he just saw.

Leaning against his truck, Liam was being surrounded by a bunch of girls, wearing skimpy shorts and spaghetti straps, hair all over their faces and thick layers of make-ups making them look like they were glowing in the night. And they were literally throwing themselves at Liam with phones and cameras in their hands, high up in the air or towards Liam, a couple of flashes following afterwards. Zayn could hear their voices from where he stood, asking about Liam’s ‘time of the day he surfs’, ‘if he’s single’ and ‘if he wanted to go somewhere interesting tonight’. Liam, on the other hand, made sure he got everyone’s question and answered them with a huge grin across his face. It could be the worst, but Zayn saw something else that hit him straight into his gut – Liam’s arm was wrapped around one of that blonde’s waist, who kept thrusting her chest towards Liam.

Struggling not to crush the cup in his hand, Zayn bit his bottom lip and looked away, feeling the rush of his blood behind his ears and the unpleasant twist on his stomach, like he wanted to throw the scalding coffee to someone, probably to Liam’s face. To make things worse, he was hearing the giggling and the squealing much clearer, and the faint voice of Liam like he was having the time of his life.

 _So this is what he’s like when he’s not around, huh?_ He couldn’t believe that just a while ago, Liam had smothered him with his words and actions of how much he missed him. And the day before that, he was saying those words of how much Liam knew him, of how much he wanted him and showed it very well with his actions – how every kiss and touch brought him all those feelings he thought he had forgotten. And there he was, almost considering about how the two of them could give each other a chance where in reality, Liam wasn’t even thinking about it.

He was right all along. What they had was just exes hooking up. Liam just wanted to have fun and Zayn felt so stupid thinking and brooding about it every second of the day. This is ridiculous. He shouldn’t be affected at all. It’s not like he cared anyway. So what if Liam didn’t want him any longer? Isn’t that what he kept telling to himself, to Niall and to Harry? So what if Liam turned out to be one hell of a flirt? And whatever Louis told him about Liam suffering for five years, maybe he was late for the news and he had no idea his friend moved on a long time ago. He doesn’t _fucking_ care. And yet, standing there, listening to Liam’s voice with that smile he thought that was only for him, it felt like someone just dug a hole in his heart.

\---

“Zayn?” Liam’s voice came out like a thunder clap, making Zayn jump from his feet and accidentally dropping the cup from his hands, spilling some of it on his skin. “ _Oh shit_ , I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-” Liam reached for his hand, but Zayn pulled away defensively.

“It’s alright.” He took another step back, holding his hand that burned immensely and almost making him tear up from the pain. “It’s nothing.”

“No, it’s not.” Not giving up, Liam tugged Zayn’s hand and held it tightly, his fingers carefully touching the bright, red spot that spread in between his thumb and index. Zayn winced, unable to hide the pain. “You got burnt and you’re saying it’s nothing.” Liam muttered, creasing his eyebrows and looking at him like he did a grave mistake. “We need to run water on this one.”

“I could do it when I’m home.” Zayn hissed, flicking his hand away from Liam’s grasp. Turning away, Zayn took a quick glance over Liam’s shoulders, wondering where those fangirls of him went all of a sudden. “Where did they go?”

“Oh, yeah. They left. They were heading to the nearby bar.” Liam said, following where Zayn’s eyes were. “I told them I was waiting for someone so I can’t go.” He shot a wide grin towards Zayn in which the lad returned with a good roll of his eyes.

“You should’ve come along with them. I don’t mind. I could go home alone.” Zayn grunted, walking his way back towards the truck and Liam following him behind.

“Now, why would I want to do that? You know I can’t leave you.”

Pulling the seatbelt over him, Zayn decided he just won’t talk anymore. He turned half of his body away from Liam and leaned over the window, concentrating on the shops and two-storey buildings they passed by. He wasn’t in the mood to entertain any of Liam’s flirtations tonight. And maybe after this day, he wouldn’t want Liam to show his face again. If Liam’s real intention of coming back was messing up with him, then there’s no way they should see each other again.

With Zayn’s arms tightly crossed around his chest and sighing heavily every now and then, Liam figured out immediately that something was definitely wrong. “Hey, are you alright?”

“Yeah. Don’t mind me, just keep driving.” Zayn huddled closer to his side, leaning his head towards the window where he wouldn’t see even the tip of Liam’s hair. For some reasons, it was making his blood boil.

“Zayn...those girls – I wasn’t what you think – it was nothing...” Liam mumbled, gripping the steering wheel tighter. Zayn on the other hand, kept silent and didn’t move a muscle. Why the hell was he explaining? He didn’t ask any of it. And besides, he doesn’t need it. He definitely doesn’t need an explanation. _Not at all._ “They just saw me outside the truck and they recognized me, so they ask for pictures...”

“Liam,” Zayn breathed out, “I don’t need a fucking explanation, alright? I don’t care what you do when I’m not around. I’m just tired.”

“No, you’re not.” Liam insisted, looking more at Zayn rather than the road. “Did I do something wrong?”

Biting his bottom lip, Zayn shifted from his seat and sat up straight. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I just told you I’m tired.”

“Zayn, you’re not like that when you’re tired.”

“Oh yeah? Why? Because you know how I look like when I’m angry and when I’m tired? Well, guess what. It’s been five fucking years and a lot of things changed, so you don’t know anything.” Zayn snapped, looking straight into Liam’s eyes with his tight clenched jaw. Instead of feeling better, Zayn felt worse, seeing Liam’s eyes recoiled from what he said and looked away, like he was just hit by something in the head. Maybe Liam wasn’t really entertaining those girls and he just overreacted and he doesn’t have the right to snap or get angry at him.

For the rest of the ride, the two remained silent. Only then when Liam pulled over in behind the bar when he spoke again.

“I’m sorry about what happened. You were right, I shouldn’t have said that.”

Unable to hold the guilt piercing through him, Zayn took a deep breath and admitted defeat. “Look, I’m sorry I snapped, okay? I didn’t mean it that way. I mean, yeah – I did mean some of it but it was wrong of me to shout at you. I’m just...I need a rest.”

Nodding, Liam leaned against the steering as he watched Zayn get out of his seat. “Um, Zayn?”

“Yeah?”

“Were you jealous of those girls?”

Zayn stopped from removing his seatbelt and stared blankly to his pants. It took him 10 seconds before looking back at Liam, who was already half-smiling. “What did you just say?”

“Well, the way you react, I mean – you saw me with those girls, so I was just thinking...if you’re jealous.”

 _Jealous?_ What an accusation! What the hell – is that what he was thinking about when they were on their way back? If he was jealous? There’s no way – he wasn’t – he didn’t – NO. That was the least thing he would ever feel. Why would he even be jealous? It’s not like they were already in that kind of relationship to feel protective of each other, right? And besides, he wasn’t angry because of those girls. It was just that he was confused of what Liam was trying to tell with his actions and his words – he wasn’t jealous. He just told Liam that he doesn’t care what he did when he’s not around or even when he is -

“Hey, you don’t have to think of it that much. I was just asking.”

“Then no, I’m not jealous or anything, whatever you’re thinking about.” Zayn said, getting out of the truck. “If you want to goout with those girls, no one’s stopping you.”

Liam smirked. “I know. But that doesn’t mean I will. How many times should I tell you until you’re convinced – I’m here because of you? No other reasons. Naked girls could stand in front of me and I’d still think about you.”

“I just saw you holding a girl’s waist like she’s your surfboard, or – something. Don’t think I’d fall for those things you tell to everyone.” It was already a miracle how he could still retort back when all Zayn could feel was the immense heat on his cheeks that made the burn on his hand almost nothing.

Liam chuckled and Zayn would be lying if it didn’t make his breath hitched. “You’re stubborn as always. Since you don’t want an explanation, I’ll leave you to it. Believe what you want to believe.”

“Hell I will.” Zayn looked away, unable to hold back his lips from quirking upwards. Just a while ago, he hated Liam to much extent he doesn’t want to see him anymore, but now, it felt like nothing happened at all and they just outrageously flirting.

“I told you, a lot of things had changed, so it’s not going to be easy, Liam Payne.” Whatever he was referring to, Zayn decided he would think and act carefully now. Liam might be telling the truth, but that doesn’t mean he’d just buy it. After seeing that flirty side of his (whether he was really entertaining those girls or not), it only meant that he still had a lot to know about Liam. And maybe it’s time to really figure out how it is going to be between the two of them.

“Oh, is that a challenge?” He cooed, raising his eyebrow. “Just to remind you, I’m really, really competitive.” Liam made a gesture as if he was wearing a bow tie and loosening it, and snapping the buttons of his invisible coat while he looked seductively at Zayn. “I know you couldn’t resist me...” He winked, “And my body.”

“Aren’t you just full of yourself?” Zayn chuckled, looking away. _It was time to leave._ If he stayed a bit longer, another embarrassing thing that had occurred earlier could happen again. “Well, I’ll be going. Thanks for the ride.”

“Anything for you,” Liam saluted, turning the key to the ignition. “And if you want the different kind of ride—“

“Go home, Liam.” Zayn said firmly, waving his hand in the air as Liam’s truck started moving. This bloke wasn’t in any way giving up. “G’night.”

“G’night, babe. See you around.” Liam waved back, driving past him. Zayn was about to walk away when he heard the brakes and turning around, he saw Liam walking towards his direction.

“Wha—“

Cutting off his words, Liam quickly grabbed Zayn’s waist and slid his hand on his back, quickly closing the distance between their lips. Zayn felt his knees buckle and his body losing weight in each time Liam caught his lips in between his mouth. The warmth of his breathe and the scratch of his stubble against his chin. Now that they weren’t too excited to take each others’ clothes off, Zayn felt every string of emotion that goes with this kiss. He felt so light, like he wasn’t standing on ground at all and it was like everything went mute, and yet there was this faint sound of their breathing, so close. _So familiar._ He was inside this time machine again – bringing him back to the feeling of Liam’s hand tightly grasping his, the sound of their laughter, the whispers of their secrets and promises, the happiness of being together and the constant ring of that farewell, that sadness and that guilt that kept pulling him back.

Pressing his palms against Liam’s chest, Zayn pulled away, flustered, his brown eyes black against the night sky. “Uhm, what was that for?” Zayn asked, his voice shaking.

Oblivious to what he was feeling, Liam beamed, his thumb stroking Zayn’s cheeks. “I just feel like kissing you, that’s all. ‘Cause you never know, what if we won’t see each other again, right?” He kissed Zayn’s forehead again, making Zayn’s eyes flutter to a close at once. “I know you still don’t believe my reason for coming back and that you’re still in doubt about a lot of things. You’re right, a lot could happen in those five years. And maybe I really don’t know you anymore. But you know what, even though you tell me a lot of have changed, I always know, some things don’t – especially between the two of us.” He felt Liam’s fingers brush along his knuckles, and then it was gone.

With the absence of Liam’s touch, Zayn’s eyes opened and watched Liam’s back as he headed towards his truck. It was the worst view he hated seeing of Liam – him walking away while he remained to his position. It never failed to give him a painful squeeze in his chest – something that he could never admit to Liam.

“L-Liam...”

Liam paused and turned his head slightly over his shoulders. “Hmm?”

Swallowing thickly, Zayn took a step forward. “What if you’re wrong?”

Looking up as if something was written in the sky, Liam’s lips gave out a warm, contented smile, as if he was already expecting Zayn to ask that. “You know Zayn, for someone who lives in this island since birth, you don’t have much faith on what it could do.”

“Liam...”

He chuckled, knowing that it wasn’t what Zayn wanted to hear. Staying to his position, Liam turned around, eyes boring into Zayn’s. “Remember that time when I was about to leave, and I couldn’t -- like I don’t even want to let go of your hand? Do you remember what you told me that time?”

Without missing a beat, Zayn nodded. “If we’re meant to be together again, then sooner or later, we’ll find our ways crossing again...”

“And what did I do when you told me that?”

Zayn looked down, biting the insides of his cheeks and trying to hold the emotions settling inside him that was on the brink of bursting any moment. “You let go of my hand...”

Liam nodded. “But I hold onto what you said. I hold onto it, as much as I want to hold you. Because I know I’ll need that once I come back for you. And here we are again. So whether I’m wrong of what I believe and what I’ve known, it doesn’t matter. I made a promise to myself that once I see you again, there’s no way I’m going to let you go _. And I’m going to keep that._ So you just wait, Zayn. You’re resistance won’t be for long.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhm so yeah. It turned out to be some sort of like a filler or something???? I’m not sure. But yeah. I hope you liked it and I hope you’ll leave some feedback. More elaborate jealousy on the next chapter especially about what Zayn kept hiding from Liam (?) so stay tuned! /or maybe not, since I’m the worst updater, ahhahaaha/. xx


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many things happened in this chapter. Hope you’ll like this. :) xx

_“Good morning, Zayn.”_

The familiar voice made Zayn’s body froze immediately. He felt the spoon slide from his fingertips, making a very faint clanging sound against the metal surface of his table. He blinked twice, somehow wishing that voice he heard was just his imagination and that there was no way this person would be here this early to greet him and probably say something that will definitely ruin his day.

Swallowing thickly, Zayn turned to his side and met the deepest, blue eyes he had ever seen, glaring down at him. It took him five seconds to grasp the situation that Louis was indeed standing in front of him. Louis. _Fuck._ He felt like he was this most-wanted criminal found by a very, dangerous and heartless cop.  

“Can I join you?”

Zayn was just about to come up with an excuse that he was busy thinking about something when Louis invited himself and sat in front of Zayn, blocking his view of the beach in front of him. It seemed like saying ‘No’ to Louis was never a part of the choices. Rubbing the back of his neck, Zayn leaned back against his chair and shifted uncomfortably. Even if he was looking away, he could feel the intensity of Louis’s eyes boring into him, like he was slowly strangling him to death.

“Uhm, so—“

“So I heard you and Liam went out yesterday?” Louis cut him off, resting his elbows against the table and leaning closer.

“Uhm, yeah…” Zayn mumbled, his fingers raking over his armrest. He looked down to his food, feeling baffled by Louis’s question. Did he came all the way here just to ask him that question even though he probably knew the answer already? Was he trying to warn him again, like he did before when they first met?

“And does that mean you’re planning on getting back with him?” Louis asked, raising his eyebrows. Now that the cop had caught him, Zayn felt like this was the part where the criminal got interrogated and one wrong answer, his head would be meeting the table any second. Not that he really thought of Louis hurting him or anything, but hearing the way Louis had asked him, there was a possibility.

Biting his bottom lip, Zayn thought of the question carefully. If other people had asked him this, Zayn knew his answer would be an immediate ‘No’. It was easy denying the fact that he was still somehow attached with Liam, even if they hadn’t seen each other for five years, and a lot of things happened in between those years. But with Louis, it felt like if he said ‘No’, Louis would be running back to Liam’s house and ask him to pack and then take him back to New York, whether he liked it or not. And Zayn wouldn’t want that to happen.

On the other hand, if he say ‘Yes’, then it would mean he would give Louis more reason to come out of fucking nowhere and give him these life-threatening warnings, interrogations and looks enough to give him nightmares. But then, if ZAyn could convince Louis that there’s no way he’d hurt Liam again, then maybe he’d leave the two of them alone and stop acting like a goddamn parent to Liam.

 Zayn took a quick look over Louis and regretted it afterwards, seeing the lad watching him carefully. He snapped his eyes back to his food, unfortunately gone cold and decided he’d go for the safe answer instead. “I, uhm – I don’t know yet. We’ve never talked about it yet—”

Zayn stopped, hearing Louis’s chuckle. “Do you think Liam would knock on your door and ask you if you two are going steady again? I am very sure that he made it clear to you of his reason why he came back here, right?” Zayn thought Louis wanted him to say yes, but when he was about to, he cut him off again, the bastard. “And I am very sure I told that to you as well. And I also said that if you’re not serious with him or planning on getting back with him, then you should tell him – which you didn’t, so I assume-“

“Hold on just a minute.” Zayn, for the first time in their conversation, finally cut Louis off, if he wasn’t getting a bit pissed off, he would be smiling right now. He pushed the seat away and stood up, looking straight into Louis’s shocked eyes. “I know you care about Liam and I know you don’t trust me, but you can’t just go in here and ruin my breakfast just to say these things to me and make me feel fucking miserable. Yeah, I admit I’ve hurt Liam and yeah, you have the right to get angry at me but whatever happens between me and Liam, is just between the two of us. If he doesn’t share it with you, then there’s no fucking way I’d share it with you either. So fuck _off._ ”

They stayed like that for a while – staring at each other, not even with people passing by and looking at them curiously. It was until Niall and Harry came out, calling out for Zayn.

“Oops, did we interrupt something?” Harry took a step back, pulling Niall with him. “Should we go back or—“

“No, it’s fine. I’m leaving, anyways.” Louis said, smiling gently towards the two, finally breaking their eye contact. “I was just telling Zayn about the party later, tonight.” He said, standing up.

“There’s a party? Where?” Niall jumped next to Zayn, who was as oblivious as he was.

Louis smirked as he moved his eyes towards Zayn. “Liam’s house. There will be games and bonfire and barbecues, you know, the typical house parties. We bought some fireworks too.”

“Well, expect us to be there! We’re party animals, right, Zayn?” Niall claimed, grinning widely  as he nudged Zayn.

“Yeah, _of course._ ” Zayn replied without much thought in it.

Louis clapped his hands. “Good! I’ll see you later then. Be there at 8 pm, a’right?” He said, putting on his sunglasses and started walking away.

“Yep, we’ll bring some drinks!” Harry yelled, waving him goodbye. Harry turned around, his face almost the same as Niall’s excited ones. They were always excited when it comes to parties. “I can’t wait! It’s been a while since we’ve been in a party outside the bar!” Niall agreed, holding both of Harry’s hands and started pulling each other and kicking their feet in the air as they sang an impromptu song: ‘We’re going to a party, we’re going, we’re going, we’re going to a –‘

“I’m not going.” Zayn snapped, sitting back to his chair and going back to where he left off before Louis showed up. “You two go there without me, I’ll take care of the bar tonight.”

“What? No, no, no—“ Niall hastily took the seat in front of him and stopped Zayn from putting the food in his mouth, “The three of us will be there. And besides, you just said yes to Louis!”

“I really don’t care if I said yes to that bastard, I’m not going.”

Niall was about to say something when Harry shushed him. Zayn ignored the two of them as they started murmuring and exchanging nods after nods. No matter what they say or offer, there’s no way he’d be in the same place Louis would be. He already did a great job of ruining his morning and going to that party means he’s asking for his night to be ruined as well.

“Zayn, you’re coming with us.” Harry said firmly.

“I told you—“

“Liam would be there.” Niall said and the mentioning of Liam’s name immediately stopped Zayn from swallowing his food. “I bet he’s expecting you to be there. You weren’t in his party last time, Liam must’ve wanted to spend some time with you and introduce you to some of his friends, right? And I think you’re forgetting something…”

Zayn gulped. “W-what?”

“Louis said the party would be held at Liam’s house.” Harry continued, “Which means, after years and years of not seeing Liam’s house, of trying not to pass by at his house even though you have to go to longer way, finally – you’ll see it again, and you’d even have the chance to go inside, roam around, relive some memories, maybe relieve it with Liam, who knows…”

“I don’t…I’m not…” What? He doesn’t miss it? He doesn’t want to see that house filled with lots of memories and moments he had with Liam? Who was he kidding? Of course he does. He wanted to know if it’s still the same, if Liam changed a lot of things, if he still kept those things where Zayn last saw it, especially now that Liam was back. Still, he doesn’t think he could fathom breathing the same air and being in the same place with Louis…

“Oh, and one more thing,” Niall said, snapping his fingers. Zayn narrowed his eyes towards Niall, and if he wasn’t too busy trying to know what that other thing is that would convince him to go to that damn party, Zayn would’ve noticed how flustered he was. “With a party hosted by five, hot, surfing blokes – four of them are foreigners – I think every girl in the island would want to be there, right?”

Zayn stilled, memories of what happened last night flashed before him. Those girls that surrounded Liam like some hungry hyenas ready to devour their victim. The same thing could happen tonight. Well, not that Zayn would be trying to pull Liam away from those girls, but it would be a good time to see if what Liam said about ‘seeing only Zayn’ was true.

Niall and Harry exchanged knowing looks, seeing the way Zayn was going through some internal struggles. They knew that If Zayn doesn’t want to, he’d say it right away and there would be nothing to change his mind. But when he’s brooding, when he’s looking at both sides of the coin, there was 90% possibility he would give up and agree later on.

“So, are you joining us or what?” Harry asked, tapping his shoulder.

Taking a deep breath and admitting defeat, Zayn closed his eyes and nodded slowly. “This better be a good idea.”

“Of course it is!” The two said in unison, standing up, hand in hand and dancing through their newly composed party song.

\---

“God, this is a bad idea after all,” Harry muttered, fixing the collar of his shirt. He knocked on the door for what seemed to be the fiftieth time already, “Damn it, Zayn! It’s just a house party, what the hell are you dressing up for?”

“Just, five more minutes!” Zayn yelled back, pulling up his white shirt. He heard Harry said something about saying it thirty minutes ago, but Zayn ignored him as he threw the shirt back to his drawer. “Too simple,” he grumbled, looking through his pile of clothes again. He was doing this for more than an hour now, wearing a shirt and saying it was the last one, but then halfway through looking at his reflection he’d realize something’s wrong.

“Just wear anything you narcissistic bastard!” Harry shouted, banging his door once again. “I swear, if you don’t get your ass in here after 10 seconds, I’ll go and tell Liam you were too busy wanking about him that you forgot about the party!”

“Alright! Alright!” With no choice but to hurry, Zayn dipped his hand and grabbed the most unfamiliar texture he could touch. When he yanked his hand up, he was surprised to see he got a denim shirt. “Fuck, where have you been all my life?” Zayn hastily wore the last white shirt he threw and topped it off with his newly found attire. He stepped in front of the mirror, running his fingers through his perfectly-waxed quiff and making sure everything looked perfect.  There would ne a lot of girls trying to get Liam’s attention – wait, no – he didn’t – this wasn’t for Liam. He would never compete for those girls. _Never._

“Zayn—“

“Okay! I’m here. I’m here.” Zayn opened the door, catching his breath and taken aback by how simple Harry and Niall’s clothes were. Harry was just wearing his usual gray shirt while Niall showed off his biceps with his American tank top. He felt like he was over-dressed.

Harry took a step back, looking at Zayn from head to toe. “So that’s what’s taking you so long – you wanted to impress Liam!”

“W-what? No! I’m not – I’m just – I wanted to look good…”

“For Liam. Geez, Zayn, whatever your answer is, it still leads to Liam.” Niall shook his head as he fixed his cap. “Well, with the way you look right now, I bet you’re gonna get laid.”

“Oh not this bet again,” Zayn said, rubbing his hand on his forehead.

“Look like I don’t have a choice.” Harry said, grabbing Zayn by his arm. “As much as I want you to get laid tonight, you need to refuse, okay? I need to win this bet.” Harry’s voice sounded desperate and by the look of how Niall was eyeing Harry, they’re up to something weird again, or probably painful – Zayn doesn’t want to elaborate.

Niall, grinning haughtily, grabbed Zayn’s opposite arm. “I don’t know, Harry – I’ve got a strong feeling they will do it tonight – how ‘bout you Zayn, what do you think?” The two looked at him at the same time and Zayn wanted to bump their heads together if he wasn’t feeling nervous about this whole bet as well.

“Honestly, I don’t want to know.”

\---

Damn, he was at it again. He was in this time machine again as the car pulled over in front of Liam’s house and everything – just everything – came back. The two-storey house looked exactly the same last time he had seen it, not even one single renovation was done. There were still marks of cracked paints, the wooden fences are still missing a couple of spaces, but really, putting up a fence in Lilac was more of like a decoration, not for security purposes. And the front yard was still the place where they put their surfboards while on the other side, it was where Liam’s pick-up truck was parked. Zayn never thought that the same picture he had in his mind five years ago, would still be the same when he gets here. Honestly, Zayn wouldn’t mind staying here the whole night and just playback all those memories he had within this place.

Unfortunately, his friends wouldn’t let him. Harry and Niall were already outside, and when they noticed Zayn was still inside the car, with no sign of getting out, the blond tapped the window, successfully pulling Zayn back to reality. “Oy, get out of there. We’re not coming in without you.”

The nostalgic feeling became stronger when he got out of the car. He could smell the citrus scent of the trees on the opposite side of Liam’s residence. The breeze was much cooler to where Liam’s house was situated as it was built in a cliff – but not the dangerous high ones – it was just enough for the waters not to reach he lot. When Zayn entered the yard, he started hearing the laughter and mixed conversations together with the sound of bass thumping against the walls, coming from the inside.

When Niall opened the door, Zayn’s eyes widened from the amount of people gathered inside the house, majority of them were girls. “Where the hell did they all find these girls?”

“It looked like there are more girls in here rather than those who come into our bar, don’t ya think?” Niall said, waving to a couple of girls that started giggling as they stepped inside. “I’ve never seen this many girls all in one place.” He said, sounding like a kid who stepped inside a candy store for the first time. Zayn chuckled, seeing the way Harry looked at Niall after what he said.  Zayn wasn’t really sure if Niall was doing it on purpose for riling Harry up, but he was definitely doing a great job about it because the next thing he knew, Harry pulled Niall somewhere and lost sight of them from the crowd.

Zayn realized then that he was now alone, and he was standing in the middle of the living room with no one to talk to. Shifting from the balls of his feet, Zayn decided he’d just go back to the car and spend the rest of the night in there, or probably go back when people start leaving. He was just about to turn around when someone called his name. It was that certain voice that he wanted to hear, especially in this kind of place where strangers surrounded him – it made his heart flutter and it scared him how he welcomed the feeling too easily.

“Zayn!” It was louder this time and when Zayn turned around, he wasn’t really sure if he should smile or frown from the view presented in front of him. It wasn’t just Liam – beside him was Louis, clinging around Liam’s arm for his dear life and to make things worse, Louis smirked when their eyes met, the bastard, he was doing it on purpose.

As much as he wanted to talk to Liam, seeing Louis hug him like a fucking sloth would only make his blood boil and that’s definitely not a good thing, so instead of walking towards Liam, Zayn excused himself and head straight to the pantry where the food and drinks were placed. He knew it was a rude thing to do, but what did he expect? Strike up a conversation while the spawn of the devil watched both of them? Zayn would rather talk to himself than talk to Liam with that bloke beside him. If he wasn’t Liam’s friend, he had hit him back at the bar already for his rudeness.

Feeling like the party spirit left him even before it came, Zayn resolved to drinking instead. He stepped outside the back door, and saw three guys being the subject of the girls’ affection as they narrated some stories about surfing animatedly. All of their listeners looked entertained, and Zayn couldn’t help but to envy their confidence, knowing he would never be like those guys. He finished his third drink of the night in one gulp.

Zayn was on his way to getting another drink when a girl blocked his way, looking at him like she was about to say something. Zayn felt like this was his chance to strike up a proper conversation so he stopped and waited.

“Uhm, you’re Zayn, right? Zayn Malik? The artist?” She asked softly, tucking her dark, brown hair behind her ear. It was a rare thing that someone knew who he was just by looking at his face. It got him curious and interested.

“Yeah, I’m Zayn. How’d you know?” Zayn asked, leaning his shoulder against the wall. If it was because of the drink that he was sort of feeling confident, Zayn doesn’t care. At least, he wasn’t being a loser to this lame party.

The girl bit her lips and started playing with the ends of her frilly skirt. Zayn doesn’t really like it when girls do that, he felt like they were trying to make people look at their legs or something, but then Zayn tried to ignore this. “I’m actually a big fan of your works.” She said hastily but enough for Zayn to understand. “I mean, I really, really loved your works. I told myself if I get enough money, I’d ask for a commission…”

Zayn beamed at her, and no, it wasn’t because of the drink. Zayn was just happy. He couldn’t believe he’d meet someone the same age as he is, probably younger, who was a big fan of his works. Actually, this might be the first time he’d ever meet a fan. “I’m glad you liked it…”

“Your latest collection was incredible, I mean – I’ve never seen the kind of style before. Especially the one with the title ‘Under the Moon - Under the moon….” She slapped her hand on her forehead, “Oh my god, I can’t believe I’m forgetting it in front of you…” She said, looking away and jumping a bit, repeating the words again and again, while Zayn tried not to stir his attention away knowing that certain painting was done when Liam came back. “Under the moon-“

“We shared this magical kiss.”  A voice came up behind Zayn, and to his shock, Liam was standing behind him, smiling towards the girl who just clapped her hands and thank Liam. “Under the Moon we shared this Magical Kiss. That was the title of the painting, right?”

Zayn felt a pressure weighing on his waist when he looked down, Liam’s fingers tightened almost making his whole body squirm from the contact. Zayn turned back to the girl, “I, uh, yeah. It is that one.” As if turning away from Liam was a mortal sin, Liam pressed his body closer to Zayn until his back and Liam’s chest touched. “Li – Liam…I’m talking to someone,” Zayn said through gritted teeth, trying to remove Liam’s grasp on him. “Let’s talk later, okay?”

“Uhm, is there a problem?” The girl asked Liam, looking rather confused by the position Zayn and Liam were in.

Liam leaned closer and rested his chin on Zayn’s shoulder, resulting for Zayn’s body to stiffen. “Actually, there is,” Liam said slowly, his lips ghosting on the side of Zayn’s neck. “You see, I need to talk to this person, _in private_.” He said, emphasizing his point by tilting Zayn’s neck and biting his exposed skin. In. Front. Of. The. Girl. Zayn’s jaw dropped, his mouth losing the words to say as he watched the girl turned scarlet and cower away, bumping bunch of people as she disappeared from Zayn’s peripheral vision. 

_“We need to talk.”_

“What?” Before Zayn could protest, Liam grabbed his wrist and pulled him upstairs, pushing him inside one of the rooms. “What the hell was that for? I was talking to someone, Liam. That was really rude!” He tried to push Liam off, maybe walk out of the door or something, but Liam had locked him with his arms and knees against the wall. He could feel his hot breathe against his cheeks, and even if it was dark, and he could see nothing but the outline of Liam’s face coming from the light at the window, he knew Liam was glaring at him. “We were just having a conversation—“

“She was flirting at you,” Liam hissed, pressing Zayn further. “She wasn’t a big fan of your works.”

“What?”

Liam looked away and sighed, “I saw her a while ago, she was reading one of my magazines, the one where you were featured, and then she saw a picture of that painting on my table, she doesn’t really know any of it,”

“Oh…” Zayn knew he should be disappointed at this, but hearing about Liam having a magazine where he was featured and even a picture of his latest painting made it all better. “I didn’t know…”

“That she was flirting? God, Zayn. You really are clueless about this…”

“Hey! I know—“

Liam didn’t let him finish as he closed the distance between their lips. He pulled an inch away, “Enough. I shouldn’t have let Louis invite you,” Liam bit his upper lip, “Every girl who sees you would want to get in your pants…” He said, kissing the side of Zayn’s lips. “They’re so desperate to have you…”

Zayn’s body writhed underneath Liam, his words like flames eating his body. “They don’t think that way…”

“Of course they do. You were too unaware of it, but everyone was looking at you, wondering how they’d get your attention and that girl was lucky enough to read something about you…” Liam’s hand held the collar of his denim shirt, yanking it down from his shoulders. “You looked so good with this,” Liam nipped his jaw, hands sliding down his arms. “But only if you’re with me. You get too much attention wearing something like this.”

There was a soft thump when Zayn’s shirt came off, and then Liam’s hand were sliding underneath his shirt, his warm hands firm at the back of Zayn as they press their bodies together, lips meeting halfway. Liam had pushed him up against the wall until Zayn’s ankles were locked up behind him, their kiss turning into tongues, their breaths turning short and rapid, and their hands grasping every part they could touch, desperate to tear away every fabric that divides the exchange of warmth from their bodies.

Zayn felt the soft mattress press against his back as Liam gently puts him down. “Do you recognize this room?” Liam asked as he started working on Zayn’s jeans.

Zayn turned his head to his side, his eyes catching a glimpse of a familiar drawing pinned against the door of a closet – his drawing. Even though he doesn’t see it clearly, he knew exactly what that drawing was, a quick sketch of Liam, his first gift when Liam won his first amateur surfing competition. “This – this is your room?” He tried to say it as a statement, but instead, it came out as a question, still not believing he was inside Liam’s room, once again. “Wow…”

“Remember what we did in here before?” Liam asked, his thumb playing on the waistband of Zayn’s boxers. Zayn could remember it clearly. That time when Liam asked him if it would be okay if they’d trying giving sucking each other. It was awkward and both of them came easily. It was a memory he couldn’t erase no matter how embarrassing it was because that was the time Zayn realized he could trust Liam, with anything and everything, and Liam feels the same way.

Smiling, Zayn dipped his head back. “Yeah, I remember it.”

“Good, ‘cause I feel like relieving it again.” And with that, Zayn felt Liam’s mouth wrap around his cock, slowly bobbing his head down with his eyes looking up at him. Liam’s hands were firm against his hips, stopping him from moving uncontrollably. Zayn didn’t exactly thought of this kind of ‘reliving those memories again’, but gosh – he’d rather shut up than complain about it. Liam was so different from before, he was always shy and careful and always asking if they should do it or not – but now, he was the ‘live for the moment’ kind of person, a complete opposite of him. And he does whatever he feels like doing.

“ _Oh shit,”_ Zayn threw his head back when Liam’s tongue slid down to his balls, nudging it until Zayn’s toes curled and buried deep into the bed. “God, your tongue…” Zayn moaned, his hands dropping down to hold Liam’s hair. Liam pulled his knees up, and then Liam’s thumb circled on his entrance, and without a warning, started lapping his tongue into Zayn’s hole. “Ohmygod – oh my, ah, fuck, Li – there, shit, shit, shit…”

Zayn doesn’t know what to do with his body anymore. He had one hand on Liam’s hair, but he was losing grip on it as Liam’s tongue worked him open, his tongue going deeper and deeper and Zayn unable to help himself but to push against it. He desperately needed to hold onto something, but was only left with the bunch of sheet underneath him. “Liam… _Please._ I need, more…”

Liam looked up at him, eyes blown away even with the slightest hint of light resting on his face. He smiled and stretched his arms, reaching for the bedside drawer before pulling out a small bottle of lube.

“Please tell me you didn’t plan to do this,” Zayn said, watching as Liam coated his fingers with its content.

“I may or may not have planned this,” Liam smiled gently, leaning in and kissing the underside of his ear. “Is it okay if you turn around?” He asked, his thumb digging on the dip of his waist. And Zayn didn’t even think twice when he did. He pushed his knees farther, exposing his back in front of Liam while he slumped on his elbows, knowing that he won’t get to support it with his hands later on.

His body shivered when Liam started rubbing his hole once again, Zayn impatiently pushing his hips back until Liam slips his finger, and rests his chest on Zayn’s back, his mouth moving towards Zayn’s ear, “This may sound really selfish but I don’t really care,” Liam paused, burying his finger knuckle deep inside Zayn, “I don’t want to see you talking to girls like that, or even to guys,” Liam bit the shell of his ear, pushing another finger and curled inside of him, looking for that spot that will leave Zayn out of breathe and scream his name, “I don’t want to see you smiling like that, as if you’re offering them more than just small talks,” Liam found it, and Zayn arched his back, shouting his name through clenched teeth, “If I have to take you away each time you do that, I will. And I don’t care how many times, until everyone in this fucking island knows who you belong to.” Liam slipped his fingers out and with a firm hold on Zayn’s hips, thrust fully inside of him. “I told you there’s no way I’m going to let you go now and I’m going to keep that.”

It was too much. Liam’s words, his lips against his skin, his body pressed against his, his movements, his promises. All of it. He couldn’t deny it any longer. He tried to hold it in, but he couldn’t. Liam was always an exception for everything, this feeling he had five years ago was still there, it never left him. Not even after all those things happened. He’d say it to Liam once he’s ready, but right now, he just wanted to accept everything as it goes back with open arms.

A sharp pain emerged from the back of his shoulders, and Zayn felt the drag of Liam’s cock getting faster, and it hit his prostate one after another, making his stomach squeeze in such a deranged pleasure before Zayn was biting the fabric beneath him as he comes. Liam, let go of his hips and moved his arms above his chest, moving sloppily and burying his head at the side of Zayn’s neck as he came.

\---

Liam didn’t let Zayn get up from bed afterwards, his arm tight around Zayn’s waist like a safety belt. “Liam, I’m not going anywhere, just let me grab a towel to clean us up.”

But Liam didn’t budge, instead, he pulled Zayn closer, and didn’t seem to mind the way their body sticks together from their sweat. “Just stay, alright? Why are you so impatient to get away from me?” Liam asked, frowning and sounding a bit hurt. Or it could be Zayn’s imagination.

“I’m – I’m not…” Zayn stuttered and stopped from trying to get away from Liam’s grasp.

“Then stay. You don’t have any idea how much I’ve missed cuddling and sleeping next to you.” Liam murmured, kissing his shoulder blades. “Don’t you miss this?”

And without hesitation, Zayn curled up against Liam’s sliding his arm underneath Liam’s, their body fitting together perfectly as always. “You have no idea how much I do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wouldn’t hurt if you’d leave a feedback, yeah? :) Thank you! x


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